In his trademark pessimistic style, US cinema legend Woody Allen said he is a "mediocre" director of "miserable work". "I've disappointed myself most of the time," the New Yorker told BBC television, rejecting claims he is a film artist.
In London for the world premiere of his new film "Match Point", set in the British capital, Allen said: "People think I'm an intellectual because I wear glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money".
Allen's movies have often been better received in Europe than in America but he said he was grateful for any US acclaim as it would have overlooked his "glaring faults and miserable work".
"I'm one of the smallest money making Academy Award winners in history," the 70-year-old said, referring to his Oscars for "Annie Hall" in 1977 and "Hannah and Her Sisters" in 1986.
"My relationship with the American audience is exactly the same as it has always been: they never came to see my films, and they don't come now.
"I've often said that the only thing standing between me and greatness is me," he mused.
Summing up his giant filmography as "mediocre", Allen said "Match Point", "Husbands and Wives" (1992) and "The Purple Rose of Cairo" (1985) were "three films of mine that are good films. Those are good films by anybody's standards".
Allen claimed he had led a pretty dull, middle-class life.
"I was married a couple of times. I'm not a dope addict, I don't drink. I'm not really a neurotic," he said.
He touched on his love of playing the clarinet.
"I'm a terrible clarinet player. But I play with my heart. I don't have a great ear for music," he said.
"It thrills me and it amazes me" that people turn up to watch his band, he said.
