Maryland law enforcement made a blackhearted Browns fan feel blue today after announcing his pending arrest for giving the green grass of Art Modell’s grave a golden shower. The longtime Browns owner absconded from Cleveland with the team in the mid-1990s despite voters authorizing tax funds for a new stadium.
Maryland law punishes “indecent or disorderly conduct in a cemetery” with up to two years in jail and a fine the equivalent of parking at Browns home games this season. The authorities won’t release the mingent man’s name until they formally charge him.
Modell, whose Ravens won a Super Bowl for Baltimore after the 2000 season, enjoys a much more favorable reputation among Marylanders than among Ohioans.
“As far as pissing on your grave,” the Browns fan wearing a Lyle Alzado jersey explains on the video posted on YouTube. “I had no choice. Anybody says, ‘It’s been about fifteen years. Art’s dead. Let it go.’ You know what? F— You. You let it go.”
Tell it to the judge.