JAY LENO: I tell you, Rickey, the economy is not good. It’s not good at all.
RICKEY MINOR: How bad is it, Jay?
LENO: The stock market is going down faster than a general’s biographer. It is terrible out there. Terrible out there. Terrible. [Applause]
The economy is so bad on the way to work I saw Phil Jackson holding a sign, “Will coach for food.” That’s how bad. [Applause]
The economy is so bad James Bond switches from Heineken to Colt 45. That’s how bad it’s gotten. [Applause]
The economy is so bad Paula Broadwell is now being forced to sleep with only three star generals. Ugh! [Applause]
The economy is so bad MSNBC had to lay off 300 Obama spokesmen. That’s how bad it’s gotten.
The economy is so bad President Obama sent Susan Rice out to defend it. That’s how bad the economy is.