Maher on Increased Mortality Rate Among Middle-Aged Whites, ‘You’re White, Cheer the F*ck Up’

HBO’s “Real Time” host Bill Maher addressed the increased mortality rate among middle-aged white Americans from drugs, alcohol, and suicide by declaring, “you’re white, cheer the f*ck up.”

Maher said, “before the recession, whites had four times the wealth of blacks and Latinos, but since the recession, that’s gone up. Now they have six times as much. So if anyone should be bi*ching about wanting their country back, it ain’t you.”

He added, “middle-aged American whites are dropping like flies, overweight, depressed, poorly-dressed flies. Dropping from what? Drugs, alcohol, suicide, and possibly, trying to fit into skinny jeans. The suicide rate for whites is now four times the rate for blacks, and in the last decade, 90% of the people who tried heroin for the first time were white. It’s hard out there for a wimp, and that’s why tonight I’d like to remind white people of something very important they may have forgotten, you’re white, cheer the f*ck up.”

Maher continued, “Jesus, look at history. it’s always a great time to be white. Think of all the advantages you have. Cops don’t shoot you for having your hands in your pockets. When people follow you around a store, it’s because they want to help you find something. Major party presidential candidates aren’t proposing to deport you. You can walk through an entire wedding reception without anyone trying to order a drink from you. And how about this perk? If you’re white, you’re much more likely to be not in prison. Blacks and whites use marijuana at virtually the same rate, not counting Miley Cyrus, but blacks are charged with possession almost four times as often, and crack cocaine will send you to jail for much longer than powder cocaine, the preferred brand of white people. In fact, if the cops see a Caucasian man walking down the street with white powder under his nose all they say is, ‘Man, that must have been a great doughnut.’ Hell, you can be a cokehead and an aimless drug addict until you’re 40 and still wind up president of the United States. Which reminds me of another great thing about being white, you can be a complete f*ck-up and people still hire you. Studies show white applicants, with a criminal record, are as likely to get hired at black applicants without one. Prison time served by blacks? Deal breaker. Prison time served by whites? Interesting water cooler conversation. And whites are still first in line for legacy admissions to colleges, and businesses, and politics, because the well-connected parents of white people tend to be white. Also, you’re much more likely to be the boss. Fortune 500 CEOs are 97% white and 3% Oprah. The median net worth of a single white woman, $42,000, of a single black woman, $5, because she spent it all on a weave.”

Follow Ian Hanchett on Twitter @IanHanchett


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