Gary Graham

The War of Words — Why We're Losing

He who defines the rules controls the game. And we’re letting them define the rules. Jobs. Health care. Economic justice. Working families. Income redistribution. Fairness. Words mean things. Very specific things. We on the Right tend to forget that. By

It's Morning-After In America

I awoke this morning with a splitting headache. As I staggered to the bathroom I blew past the mirror without a glance, fearful of the report. I hadn’t felt this awful since I can’t remember when. Though memory eluded me

PelosiCare: Liars, Luddites and Leprechauns

Nancy Pelosi, having renamed the Public Option, the ‘Consumer Option,’ triumphantly trotted out this morning the Hose version of the Health Care Reform Bill, now called The Affordable American Health Care Bill. (“Affordable” – what does that mean, exactly? Affordable

Art is Stuff …and Stuff Happens

This stuff doesn’t happen on its own. Somebody must create it. Art is the product of conscious action. But art cannot be considered ‘art’…until it is named. It must be called ‘art.’ And it seems today that regardless of the

Let Them Eat Kale

So I guess it’s the schoolyard chivalry I was raised on that taught me you never beat up on the girl. Thus, I have held my tongue in regards to the good First Lady, Michelle Obama. But now it has

Honoring September 11th: Friend From Foe

It wasn’t a ‘disaster.’ Hurricanes, tsunami’s, earthquakes and famines are disasters. It wasn’t a ‘tragedy.’ Accidental drownings, poisonings, SIDS, freak accidents….those are tragedies. This was an evil, premeditated attack. The worst, most deadly and devastating attack ever carried off against

The Adventures of Bunky and Biggo

[youtube dGFXGwHsD_A nolink] FADE IN: Biggo slips quietly into the ornate den. Seagulls can be heard amidst the distant crash of waves. Three security men stand about the room, in attentive, professional bearing. A silver-haired, bloated old man lies on

Yes We Canadian! — The Public Option

I love words. And, fancying myself a bit of a wordsmith, I pay particular attention to things like sentence construction, grammar, artful phrasing and syntax. Not to mention euphemisms and/or outright verbal distortion. We have been hearing a lot lately

The Great Beer Summit of 2009

Event in progress…we go LIVE to Washington, D.C. …reporting live on this historic occasion. A crisis of epic proportions may have been averted…by an invitation from the White House to simply sit down …and have a beer. This creatively innovative

Obama Wants to Buck Us Up

In speaking to the American Nurse Association in the Rose Garden today, Mr. Obama, speaking of the urgent need to pass his hugely exorbitant and grossly ineffective health care bill, said, “”We need to buck up people here,” Obama said.

Obama-Care Can Kill You

I went to the post office today. I know, there was no way to avoid it, I’d rather have a root canal, but I had to mail this very large package. So I’m standing in this long line…watching as the

Troopathon 2009: Because They Serve

Her thumbs danced over the tiny keyboard of her cell phone, glumly texting a friend. I reached over and, uncharacteristically, snapped it shut. Gently, but firm. “Not today, hon.” With a loud sigh of disgust she slammed the phone back

Terrorists and Tyrants Go Straight to Hell

At the risk of earning my place in The Masters of the Obvious Hall of Fame… I gotta say it. They’re not ‘freedom fighters’, they’re not ‘brave Jihad warriors’, they’re not ‘overseas contingency operators’…they’re terrorists. And they’re evil. True, they

From the Vast Business Mind of President Obama

Barack Obama yesterday announced that auto giant General Motors has failed to take the restructuring steps necessary to remain viable and solvent. They will enter into chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Don’t we wish we’d seen that coming before we loaned

Another 'Transformational Moment' — The Cyber-Czar is Born!

Call me paranoid, but… I was wondering when the government was going to make its move on the Internet. There’s a whole lot of commerce going on, a lot of communication, a lot of people talking to each other, building

Waterboard Pelosi — Let's Get to the Truth!

Nancy Pelosi this morning let the floodgates open. In a ‘frank and open’ press conference she waffled and redirected. She explained, rationalized, dodged and obfuscated. She bobbed and weaved. She danced the Paso Doble. It was a masterful exhibition of

All-American Girl

All right, it’s a press conference about a beauty contest. It’s not a world summit – it’s a beauty contest! Should it really garner this sort of press coverage, this sort of media scrutiny, this sort of public attention? Well,

The Party of 'No'

Are we the party of ‘NO’? Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Dianne Feinstein, et al, have gone on record to call the Republican Party ‘The Party of No’. Why? Because we say NO to socialism? NO to racism? NO to weak

The Crisis of Crises

Now it’s the swine flu. People are running in the streets, scared, screaming, in total panic. Oh, no, wait – sorry, that was downtown New York City the other day when the President’s Air Force One 747 buzzed Manhattan and

Planet Dumbassnotion

The City of Riverside, California today announced a new plan, in light of the high volume of foreclosed homes, that it was going to start buying foreclosed home, fix them up, and resell them to ‘the needy’. Isn’t that nice?

Sympathy Vote

I was going to let this one go. I like the story, I was a fan, and it made me smile and yeah, (sniff) warmed my heart, too. But after a week-long worldwide hoopla, and finally this morning hearing Mike

Everybody Lay Off Dave Konig!

I like him. He’s nice guy (or so I’ve heard). If you’re irritated at him defending Tom Shillue defending Janeane Garofalo, you’re just going to have to take my word for it. (Or at least the guy’s word who told

Janet – Put on the Coffee

I’m your guy. You will want to pay me a visit. You’ll be wanting to sit me down in your offices and have a little chat with me. And if worse comes to worst, I won’t even cost you much

The New America – Deja Vu All Over Again

The simple catch-phrase slogans bandied about for the past year were the thing of pop culture legend. Hope. Change We Need. Change We Can Believe In. Yes We Can. Pabulum to the ‘downtrodden’… manna to the Constitutional deconstructionists… and justification

To Arms!!!

A week ago, a horrendous crime took place in a nursing home in Carthage, North Carolina. Seven innocent lives were taken by an unhinged dirtbag apparently upset at his ex-wife. Fortunately, a brave police officer answered the call, engaged the

The Bobby-Bash World Cup

Reporting from the BBC in London… Good morning, and welcome to the 34th Annual Bobby-Bash in East London, England! Today’s event promises to be ripping with action and a jolly tough competition! As you recall, after yesterday’s bash the Anarchists

The Newsrape Emails – #1

My Dear Scudworm – Congratulations on the fine work you did with the recent Hollywood hoopla thing. What are those golden statues called again…Arthurs? Oscars? Ollivers? No matter. The fine art of idolatry is becoming your forte, my dear nephew.

Congress Acts Swiftly!

I notice that the House acted swiftly to tax the AIG bonuses. (And at 90% — wow…seems a bit steep, but hey – taxation as a means of punishment is a time-honored tradition amongst the Left.) Because earlier they had

…In Which Ben Bernanke Explains It All To Us

Hmmm. Is it just me that thinks this is sadly ironic? That we hear the President say on the news that he’s going to try to block the AIG bonuses for top executives, who are guilty of “recklessness and greed”…for

The Obama Re-Election Campaign In Full Swing

THIS JUST IN: Reports from several Washington insiders came in today with several citizens who saw a flashing VACANCY sign when passing in front of the White House . Apparently it was one of those neon jobbers you see outside

State of the Union: Pandering As An Art Form

The President is a great orator. That doesn’t make him a great leader. I know, I know – give him a chance. But if you were able to glimpse into the future and could glean important information, vital information that

I'm a Racist Coward!

I am appalled. I just found out that I am a racist and a coward and I did not know it. Eric Holder said yesterday, “Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things

The New and Improved Deal

In my never-ending quest to 1) tell the truth, and 2) amuse myself to distraction by thoroughly pissing off the Left, I’d like to say a few words about the upcoming Signing of the Stimulus Bill. Considering the expense involved

The Seduction of Insanity

I must be stupid. I’m sorry, but I just don’t get it. Clearly, I am just too simple minded to understand the efficacy of the so-called Stimulus Bill. I run the idea past my Common Sense center in my cerebral