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Greg Gutfeld

Greg Gutfeld

Gut Check: Greg's Favorite Songs and Records from 2013

I didn’t get around to listening to nearly as much crud as I normally do, because all I do these days is work. I do two shows a day and write books at night. I have no leisure time. Nothing.

Gut Check: Greg's Favorite Songs and Records from 2013

Gut Check: Lessons in Lockstep

Last week, Nelson Mandela died. There were more than enough touching eulogies, and any attempt by me would be shoddy, with the depth of a contact lens. Better to sit back, shut up, and think about a lesson to learn

Gut Check: Lessons in Lockstep

Bring Me Home for the Holidays

If you have no idea what to buy your wife for Christmas, let me help. A Not Cool Koozie. Yes, a Koozie is EXACTLY what your wife wants for Christmas. Forget the rings, the necklaces, the new IPAD. The Humvee.

Bring Me Home for the Holidays

Gut Check: The Pro-Choice Revolution

Last Sunday, I chose to do nothing. Meaning, I pretended to do something by buying and then consuming bits and chunks of stuff I ordered from my laptop as I sat in my underwear, drinking strong coffee. It’s what I do

Gut Check: The Pro-Choice Revolution

Gut Check: The Tarantino of Nice

This weekend, riddled with sickness, I caught up on the latest series — available on Netflix — written and directed by Ricky Gervais. It’s called Derek, and it’s about a “simple-minded” guy named Derek who works at a retirement home.

Gut Check: The Tarantino of Nice

Tips from a Runny Nose

I am currently in bed with sniffles, a nasty cough, congestion, sneezing, watery eyes. Does anyone have any suggestions for things to do with kleenex after you’ve used them? Seems like a waste just to throw them away.  I was

The Frightened Correspondent

In case you missed Saturday’s Redeye  (and many did, since it wasn’t on the DVR schedule for some ungodly reason), here’s what I think might be the funniest appearance of our Frightened Correspondent – ever.  If you don’t pee yourself

Smoking Dopes

Miley Cyrus smoking dope on stage? Who cares? The best argument against legalizing dope are the celebrity dopes who smoke it. They think they’re doing something naughty or outrageous. And they make a big deal of it whenever possible. But

Gut Check: Greg Answers Questions While Drinking Lots of Wine

Breitbart News: What do conservatives have to do to resonate with young people? GG: They have to explain, succinctly, why their stuff works. And you have to do it with humor, minus jargon, minus anger. Freedom is fun. It’s not

Gut Check: Greg Answers Questions While Drinking Lots of Wine

Why I Love the Fuzz

I can pretty much rattle off perfect albums in my head. These are those special records that after listening, maybe ten or twelve thousand times, you realize there is no way they could have been improved. Meaning, every song means

Gut Check: Thank You, Rudy Giuliani

There were no murders last week in New York City. That, by definition, is amazing. That’s like saying, for one week, there were no pies in Kirstie Alley’s fridge. Or no contagious bacteria in Hef’s grotto. Or no drugs in Andy Dick’s

Gut Check: Thank You, Rudy Giuliani

I Should Have Paid More Attention to Peanuts

I was drinking with a buddy of mine – we’re about the same age (closing in on 50) and we started talking about the first thing we ever read. It was the Sunday comics. But mainly, it was Peanuts. Peanuts,

A Post About Crap

So a Montana man got a five hundred dollar check from the US Treasury after sending them five one-hundred dollar bills that had been eaten by his mutt.  He waited for the dog to poop them out, and reassembled the

Gut Check: The Right Way to Rebel

So, let’s say you realized, that, try as you might, you’re not like the rest of them. You’re different. You don’t instantly agree with them. Their assumptions are no longer yours. Maybe, secretly, they never were. But now, you find yourself the

Gut Check: The Right Way to Rebel

Pushers

I have a relative in town, from Russia. She took the subway from the airport to our apartment. A deranged man got on, doing what deranged men do. She said to my wife, “what is he doing in here?” Exactly.

Why Do We Like Gross Things?

Why do we like gross things? I am not ashamed to say that I like gross things. I don’t like doing gross things. But I like looking at or reading about them. Medical oddities, and stuff like that. And while

The March that Didn't March

I was thinking about the disaster that was the Million Muslim March, and how it might have actually proved its point. Accidentally – of course.It changed its name to the “Million American March Against Fear,” and the only people who showed

Gut Check: Fifteen Meaningless Questions About Music

Can anyone tell me what happened to the members of Screaming Blue Messiahs? Primarily the singer/guitarist Bill Carter? There is a performer named Bill Carter, but it’s not THAT Bill Carter. I am obsessed with this band and am entirely

Gut Check: Fifteen Meaningless Questions About Music

Ariel Pink Tonight – Bring Me a Cigarette

Last night on Redeye, we had the great Ariel Pink on the show.  If you’re unfamiliar with his work, I’m going to offer you a taste. This song, “Round and Round”  is one of my all-time favorites, and it’s from

Another Record Review by Greg on a Plane, Drinking

Dear friends, am now about to review the new F*ck Buttons album, Slow Focus – their third amazing record. Their last one got used in the Britain opening Olympic ceremonies. It was the least offensive part. This record is really,

An Album Review

Today I will briefly review the new Boards of Canada album, which is called Tomorrow’s Harvest. It’s great. Kind regards, Greg  

Gut Check: Race Poker

Last week on The Five, I observed that the race card had been replaced by race poker. I see your “Trayvon Martin” and I raise you a “Delbert Belton.” (I don’t dare play poker–I’m too terrified–but I assume this comparison

Gut Check: Race Poker

Violations

Re: today’s latest outrage per the NSA. I wonder about those who are upset over thousands of programming errors among hundreds of millions – while being perfectly fine with Stop and Frisk.  That level of hypocrisy hasn’t been matched since

Gut Check: Rung Out to Dry

We’ve got problems. Serious ones. We’ve heard enough about rates of single parenthood among whites and blacks. For most of us, this is not news. The residue from the feel-good 1970s was more toxic than realized. What we once saw

Gut Check: Rung Out to Dry

How to Debate National Security Without Having to Debate National Security

STEP ONE:  Lump all NSA programs under the umbrella  “spying on Americans.” STEP TWO: After someone explains exactly what the programs do, from metadata gathering to monitoring international communications, you simply say “Where does it all end?” STEP THREE: Work

Gut Check: Fear of Facts

One thing I noticed throughout the Martin/Zimmerman story cycle: the “opinion/fact” mutation. As more facts are introduced into the mix, opinions don’t disappear after being proven wrong, they simply mutate. We’ve seen this with other issues and debates: global warming,

Gut Check: Fear of Facts

Where's Lee Marvin?

As President Obama lines up assorted celebrities to promote health care (if by celebrities, we mean Michael Cera and Kal Penn),  it serves to remind us how creepy celebrities can be in their willingness to serve the powers that be.

Rolling Stone Piece — in 50 Seconds

So I just read the Rolling Stone piece with the shitbag on the cover. It’s long, but i can summarize it for you: “Wow, here’s a really good looking cool kid who loves to smoke weed (a lot — isn’t

Gut Check: The Swarm

Lions on the web, and lambs on the street. So last week some conservative website posted a photo of a beloved conservative. When some readers saw that the picture was doctored, they tweeted an angry alarm (which is what you

Gut Check: The Swarm

A Valentine to the Avalanches

Damn, I’m old.   It’s been nearly 13 years ago that an album was released by an Australian group, in Australia, that has brought me nothing but pleasure every single day since then. The band was called the Avalanches, and the