“Elections matter. I think votes matter.”
So said President Obama. At least that’s what he said before his policies and his party were thoroughly denounced in the midterm elections last year.
Routing Mr. Obama and his agenda, Republicans seized control of the U.S. Senate and made historic gains in the U.S. House of Representatives.
Voters clearly empowered the newly minted Republican Congress to halt the left-wing lunacy that even Democratic lightning rods House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi of California and Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada refused to attempt when they clearly had the power to get it done.
Instead of respecting the election and listening to voters, Mr. Obama doubled down. He went from merely left wing to utter lawlessness.
The most glaring example of his autocratic extremism is the executive amnesty he has unilaterally bestowed upon millions of illegal aliens living illegally in the U.S. Many of these illegals are also illegally working illegal jobs here, too.
One branch of government — the federal courts — has already castigated the president and halted the amnesty program that even the president himself had repeatedly argued fell beyond his constitutional authority. But that was before Mr. Obama realized the trouble his party was in and made his illegal gambit to rope in millions of indentured voters to keep the Democratic Party afloat with illegal votes from illegal aliens.
Thank goodness voters settled this dispute by sending a strong GOP majority to Congress to thwart this lawless agenda.
Now comes the great statesman and wise parliamentarian from the great state of Kentucky, Senate Majority “Leader” Mitch McConnell. The Zen master of Senate denizens, we have been told more times than we can count, has spent all the decades of his political career in preparation for “leading” the world’s most deliberative body, whatever the hell that means.
Mr. McConnell has spent centuries studying under the great Jedi, Yoda, learning all the black arts and swampy jujitsu of quietly, magically getting amazing stuff done in the United States Senate.
So the House whipped up a bill to fund the Department of Homeland Security — minus the illegal parts granting amnesty to millions of illegals living in the United States illegally. The bill passed the House and went to the Senate.
In the Senate, Democrats filibustered the bill to fund the Department of Homeland Security.
Somehow, magically, this was blamed entirely on Republicans. Every media outlet and pundit in town declared that Republicans wanted to shut down the Department of Homeland Security even though House Republicans passed legislation to fund the department and it was Senate Democrats who were blocking that funding bill with a filibuster.
To the rescue comes Senator Yoda, wearing his hooded cloak and wielding his magic wand. He checked his sorcery guide and stirred his bubbling pot. He produced a magical strategy for dealing with these forces of evil.
Run the white flag up the Senate flagpole and then use said flagpole to shaft the American people. Or, at least, the North American people living legally in the United States of America.
I mean, what is it with all this surrendering and blinking? These Republicans blink so much around here they make Chief Inspector Charles Dreyfus look like a stalwart poker player whenever Inspector Jacques Clouseau enters the scene in search of The Pink Panther.
Here is the Senate’s great parliamentarian Yoda up against a man whose entire legislative career can be summed up in one word. “Present.” Because that is how Mr. Obama always voted whenever faced with the slightest political turbulence.
Now, in the most important political battle of the past five years, Yoda gets completely outmaneuvered and outmatched by Senator Present.
There he is in his silly cloak playing checkers with his little black and red plastic pieces getting utterly schooled by Senator Present turned President Garry Kasparov down Pennsylvania Avenue playing some advanced game of three-dimensional chess.
And, once again, the American people are left with no choice but to close their eyes and accept the treachery.
Charles Hurt can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org, and on Twitter at @charleshurt.