President Obama’s Final SOTU Address Should Have Been an Apology

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This week, President Obama is going around the country to re-hash some of the themes from his State of the Union. I have a better idea: how about he start apologizing for the last seven years?

I’ve decided to help the president by highlighting some of the lowlights that he should address. I’ve also taken the liberty of assisting the president’s speech writers by putting this in a speech format for him:

“My fellow Americans, I apologize. I apologize for saying in 2008 that President Bush should have worked with Congress more and relied on executive power less. I do love irony! Time and again, I blatantly ignored the will of Congress and even sneered that I had a pen with which I could do what I wanted.

“I apologize for ignoring the advice of the military and pulling virtually all our troops out of Iraq. Many people, including President Bush in 2007, specifically warned of a vacuum that would be created in Iraq if we pulled out. President Bush even warned that what might emerge in that vacuum could be as bad or worse than al Qaeda. President Bush was prescient about that. What prophetic words. Who knew he was so smart. Thanks to my arrogance (or was it ignorance?), ISIS, emerged and we will be paying the price for years to come.

“I apologize for my administration telling the country that Benghazi was the result of a spontaneous protest to a video … even when my own secretary of state knew almost immediately it was a coordinated terrorist attack.

“I apologize for my bizarre comments in the aftermath of the Paris terrorist attack – when I seemed unemotional and detached except when I got really angry when talking about Republicans and domestic politics. Maybe I should have directed my anger toward the Islamic extremists.

“I apologize for making Iran’s path to the bomb easier. How ironic that on the day I delivered my last State of the Union, the Iranians took over two American Navy vessels? But don’t worry, I’m sure that was just an aberration. They will behave themselves on the nuclear agreement. At least I hope they do.

“I apologize for telling Americans that if they liked their health care they could keep it.  Truth be told, I knew all along that wouldn’t happen. But hey, you do what you gotta do to get legislation passed, right?

“I apologize for the anemic economy I have presided over. A larger percentage of Americans were working under Jimmy Carter? Wait, what? Is that possible?

“I apologize for being a constitutional law professor who clearly doesn’t understand the Second Amendment. However, I have a good excuse: I was home sick the day the Bill of Rights was taught at law school.

“I apologize for Eric Holder. The Justice Department was an embarrassment during Holder’s tenure. And nothing speaks to his incompetence more than three words that will haunt me in history: Fast and Furious.

“And I apologize for helping to poison our politics. In 2008, I promised to bring us together. Instead, I thoroughly enjoyed ridiculing my opponents and creating straw man arguments that I could easily bludgeon to death. My personal favorite is when I accused Republicans of believing government ‘has no role’ in creating prosperity in America. I mean, maybe Libertarians believe that. Republicans believe in transportation, infrastructure, national security – all kinds of investments that help a free country and a free market thrive. But my philosophy has been to never let the facts get in the way of good political spin. So I just couldn’t help myself.

“So as you can see, my fellow Americans, I have a lot for which to apologize. Can you forgive me”?

Yes, that is the speech President Obama should give. But instead he will offer what he always does: excuses wrapped in rationalizations, shrouded by finger-pointing.

Election Day can’t get here fast enough.