Disclaimer: What you are about to read is fiction. It is a story about peace. Peace at any cost.
THE WORLD TODAY: A News Summary
May 2009
BONN (EU News) – The current CSPEU administration has decided to increase productivity by lowering the age that children are required to enter the workforce from nine to eight years of age. The EU Vice Minister for the Interior states the lowering of the work age is due to an increased shortage of youthful workers. “It’s a reflection of the ongoing fighting between our peaceful union and the obstinate Russians.”
Citizens and subjects in the 18-25 age bracket have seldom been seen in recent years. The Vice Minister commented on this by stating, “This temporary downturn in our youthful population is insignificant compared to the tremendous loss of life on the Russian side. Though our rockets delivering Vemork V weapons obliterated St. Petersburg and most of Moscow years ago, the Russians, though scattered and ill equipped, still choose to resist to this very day. It staggers the mind why they wish to continue their own misery. “
The Vice Minister added, “England, on the other hand, fell very quickly after we dropped only a mere one quarter megaton of heavy water (D2O) weaponry on their proud London back in 1946. Of course, we could continue to bombard the Russian outposts like we did London and where Paris once was, but it would contaminate any remaining soil. We’ve been trying to avoid this drastic measure. We are humanitarians, after all.”
The Vice Minister continued, “More to the point, it is vital to emphasize that the biological surrogate guardians of children reaching their seventh birthday are now required by law to enter their offspring’s identity number with a nearby STC (State Training Center) to begin the one year transition to the workforce. It is mandatory they comply with the new law. Penalties are harsh.”
EU News has faithfully reported in the past that administration policy is very clear on this issue. Biological surrogate guardians, bio-guardians, who refuse to surrender their unlawful offspring in a timely manner, will be sequestered by the administration’s Ministry of Adult Education for an indefinite period of time. Consequently, children found unattended will be conscripted into the workforce with any surviving surrogates losing visiting rights.
The Vice Minister added, “It’s in every bio-guardians’ interest to register the Fatherland’s children early. The earlier these children start their lives the easier it will be for them to make the transition from their surrogate households and purge those troubled lives from memory. It’s for their own good to cut those ties early. It’s natural and it’s the law.”
The governing Commanding Socialist Party of the European Union has announced that they have apprehended another 2500 political criminals across the nation. These individuals will be held temporarily in one of the New Spandau prison system facilities outside the EU Capital Center in Bonn until such time that more permanent facilities can be arranged, if needed.
In other news, the incoming Director of the Ministry of Allocations and Provisions has announced new shipments of household goods to be rationed out to the populace beginning next month as part of the new modernization plan.
“Citizens throughout the inner Fatherland nations of Deutschland, Austria and Switzerland in residential blocks A thru F can once again begin signing up for bread, water, salt, kerosene, and toilet paper as promised.” The Director stated in an uplifting speech given earlier this week. “Citizens in residential blocks G thru P can begin signing-up for potatoes, cloth, canvas, shoe leather, and slag metal. Citizens in blocks Q thru Z can sign-up for milk, cheese, and butter substitutes. These blocks will rotate. Everyone will eventually get a chance at all the household goods and items as required by law. Anyone found forging identity cards, ration coupons, altering their derma scancode, or cheating the system in any way will be dealt with harshly.”
The Director continued, “Subjects in outlying regions of old Europe, including territories referred to previously as Britain, Spain, France, Belgium, Luxemburg, Italy, Malta, Sardinia, Corsica, Sicily, Scandinavia, Poland, Turkey, Czechoslovakia, Romania, and Bulgaria will begin similar initiatives as soon as allocations within the inner Fatherland areas are completed and fully verified. The same waiting period applies to the new North and South Amerikan territories in accordance with the Colonial Affairs Ministry which has local jurisdiction for those continents.”
The Director concluded with these words of reassurance, “Subjects in frontier regions such as Afrika will begin an experimental allocation program. The details of which are not to be made public at this time. The difficulties in supplying the vast continent of Afrika are enormous, as many are aware. I urge our subjects in Afrika to be patient. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day and the pestilent Jews and gypsies weren’t purged from our streets in a week! These things take time, but as we know, they do get done. ”
In Asian news, the Empire of Japan stated there was a brief power outage at a Human Resources Productivity Center in former Ceylon. About 70,000 workers suffocated in one of the vast underground graphite mines when the air supply was interrupted for several hours due to the power outage. The mine was flooded with hydrofluoric acid to aid in the cleaning and speedy removal of remains. Relatives are reminded that religious services for the deceased are prohibited.
A high-ranking official with Human Resources stated (off-the-record), “It (power outage) was most likely due to attempted sabotage by rebels.” He added, “We get troublemakers stirring things up from time to time. They’re just pests. And we have experience dealing with pests. It will be dealt with.”
Within hours of that statement approximately four hundred suspects were taken into custody from the outlying region and are presently assisting HR with inquiries. Next of kin will be notified where appropriate.
In a related story, the highly decorated Imperial Swordsman Unit of the Empire’s Honor Guard, known for their much-prized ability to dispatch multiple opponents while on horseback, is no longer recruiting volunteers from the populace to assist the unit in training and practice.
In agricultural news, the expansive rice crop harvest in the region has shown high increases in yields due to the new extended work hours. A government source stated, “We’ve seen an enormous growth potential in limiting the amount of sleep our workers receive. By modeling their sleep habits on other animals, such as dogs and livestock, and supplementing this with pharmaceutical conditioning we’ve been able to reduce the total sleep time per day to 2.5 hours per subject. It’s a tremendous achievement. We plan to implement our research into all other areas of the labor force. This is a very exciting time in the field of science.”
Other so-called outsider regions known previously as Korea, Indonesia, Hong Kong, Macau, Singapore, Philippines, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, and Burma, now generally referred to collectively as Gaidashu, have seen only moderate yields. GACPS has announced plans to implement more robust cultural and genetic reintegration of these outlying regions, stating, “Citizens of even the most outlying regions of the Greater Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere must remember that the official language is Japanese and use of other, outsider, mongrel tongues is not only forbidden but is a direct insult to their role as subject in the service of the Empire. We have a no tolerance policy.” Violators of this policy, EU News has been told, will be transported to one of the following: Re-Education and Conscription Centers, dojos for assisting martial training of the military and to National Health Centers for volunteer work on pathogenic and contagious diseases research.
In a related story, the Empire’s successful testing of chemical and biological agents inside Manchuko, formerly known as China and Manchuria has yielded another 20 million liters of Cyanogen and Cyclosarin material necessary to ensure continued peace. Volunteers are still being recruited from the still mainly Chinese population in the area, eager to do their part in helping the Empire to attain its goals.
A government official remarking on a recent news blackout in the area stated, “When testing such huge amounts such as we are required to do, accidents can and will happen. It’s part of the risk. Furthermore, we are announcing that several cities in the Sechuan area are off limits until further notice. Subjects who have relatives in these areas in former Southern China are reminded to be patient. Inquiries, as per government policy, will not be accepted. Trust is required. We are certain each and every subject understands this and will comply with regulations.” He warned, “Be advised. Causing any disruption over this issue, or any other, is bound to meet with the strictest and most severe disciplinary action.”
That’s the way it is, May 2009. Good night and good luck.
(The information ministries of the Commanding Socialist Party of the European Union and Greater Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere contributed to this report. This news summary has been translated from German and Japanese into English for educational purposes only.)
Link: THE WORLD TODAY
Copyright CSPEU/GACPS 2009.
What you have just read never happened. It is not the world we are living in today.
Thank you to all the men and women of the United States Armed Forces who gave their youth, their health and their lives over sixty years ago to prevent the nightmare such as the one depicted above from becoming today’s reality.
Not only on Memorial Day, but other days as well, let us take time to reflect on all that we have gained from those who gave everything they had.
– Schizoid Mann
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