Gold Star Mom: Debbie Argel-Bastian

To Hollywood

Logan is trying to understand, but he is only four. His father’s plane went down in Iraq on Memorial Day of 2008. When asked about his dad, he puts his hand on his heart and says, “My daddy is a hero.” He goes to get his toy tool kit. He is going to fix the plane so that daddy can come home. Logan loves to hear the stories from the small group of Combat Controllers that knew his dad. Soon, a book will be out for him. The book is called “Letters for Logan.” It will tell the story of the soldier and the man. Logan is too young to understand the anger, bitterness, poor timing and judgment of Hollywood, California. Logan is not alone. On the plane that carried five good men to heaven that day, six children lost their dads. There are over 700 children of fallen Spec Ops Warriors to date.

The soldier is my son, Capt. Derek Argel. In the sixth grade, he made a decision that to serve God, Country and family was a privilege and not a right. He understood that the gifts he had been given in athletic and intellectual abilities were to be shared with his country. Less than 300 men did his job, worldwide. They were the elite of the elite.

At that time, he decided he would become the best officer and Special Ops Warrior he could for the freedoms and gifts this country gave him. He was the best son a mother could ask for. He was everyone’s best friend. Most felt he would become a General, then run for President.

On Memorial Day of 2005, Derek’s plane went down. There were four American AF Special Ops, and one Iraqi Captain that was fighting for a better Iraq for his family. There is no word for a Gold Star Mother, as there is no word to describe the pain. Derek was 28, and it took me months…. years to accept that he was not coming home. I wondered why people I had never met in Hollywood would want to add to my pain.

Only two weeks after Derek’s death, I was confronted with hateful emails and phone calls about my son’s service as a “commando.” My story and Logan’s was shared in the Santa Barbara News Press, and all over California. Many of Hollywood’s finest stood next to Cindy Sheehan, who had no relationship with her son, and offered, as Susan Serandin did, to play her part in a movie. Rush Limbaugh told my story on the radio, only to receive a call from Richard Dreyfuss claiming that “nobody was going to take his son into the military.” Sean Penn was making his counter productive statements to the press as well as others from Hollywood.

Can anyone imagine how this made the children of the fallen feel? I live only 60 minutes from Oprah, Barbara Streisand, and many others who make their living in Hollywood. Last summer, my husband and I rode 6,000 miles in one month on motorcycles to raise money for the Special Operations Warrior Foundation. They were formed in 1980 to send each child of a fallen Spec Ops Warrior to college and pay in full. Although this was advertised in Hollywood, as well as a plea for a spokesperson, we heard nothing. They know our story, it has been written in Santa Barbara Magazine, USA Today, and all over the country. It has been told five times on the Neil Cavuto Show.

Shortly after my son’s death, I went on Sean Hannity’s radio program to ask that Hollywood actors please stick to the entertainment industry unless they could do some good with their voices. I was trying to raise money for seven Gold Star parents to visit Iraq where our son’s were killed. Sean donated $10,000 to make our trip possible, but again there was no voice from Hollywood in a positive sense.

My husband and I were invited to the Hollywood screening of “An American Carol” this past year. We met the cast and crew and thanked Kevin Farley and Kelsey Grammer for their roles in this wonderful film. This was a risk for them, but was so appreciated by the families that attended.

For the past two years, we have attended and volunteered for Snowball Express in Los Angeles. This brings together the children who have lost their dad’s in the war for a time together and some fun and healing. Gary Sinise has participated in this effort and our families can never express our thanks and gratitude.

Please…. come out of the closet, Hollywood. There is so much good that many of you can do with your voices. Please think of our children like my little grandson Logan. Please, think before you use your voice. Please, for the sake of our families, speak to us before you speak to the media.

The freedom of this country depends on the men like my son, a true Officer and Gentleman. Think before you speak and hurt our families and the children of the fallen.

Debbie Argel-Bastian, proud Mother of Captain Derek Argel, May 30, 2005 Iraq