Bill Calls Hillary

(Ringggggggggggggg.)

Todd, the assistant to the assistant of Ms. Clinton:

Mrs. Clinton? Mr. Clinton is on the phone for you.

Hillary:

That’s MS. Clinton. Give me that phone.

Hello…?

Bill:

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA BWAAA HAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHA! Ho ho ho HOOO HOOO BWAAAAAAAAH HAHA HA HA HA, uh Heee hee heeee………Ohhhhhh hey, Hun!

Hillary:

Helloooooooo?

Bill:

Bwaaaaaaa Heee hee hee heee… Ehh hmm.. Hey, Hillary, how’s it going? See me on the TV?

Hillary:

Yes saw you. How’s it going with me? Oh pretty well, Bill. Very busy over here in….. ah… this country he’s got me in.

Bill:

Yeah, Barry sure has got you on the run, huh?

Hillary:

No Bill, I’ve got me on the run to important things. What is it you want, Bill?

Bill:

What is it I want? BWAAAAAAAAAA HA AH AH AH AH AH HA HA HA HA HA HA. Just to let you know babe:… I’M BAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKK! The Slickster! The Reuniter! I’M BAAAAAAAAAACK! No more walking that rotten dog! No more boring lunches in Harlem! No more MISTER Hillary. BWAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AHAAA HAHA BWAAA Heee hee hee. Oh ho ho… sorry hun.

Hey all kiddin’ aside Honey, did you see Al with that green ‘welcome home’ banner? And that lil’ commercial for that radio station he’s hawkin’?

Hillary:

It’s a TV station, Bill.

Bill:

Yeah, whatever… I mean is he a hoot or what? And what about Barack ‘Dr. Distraction’ Obama. This guys slick meter is on the uptick.

Hillary:

Quite a compliment coming from you. Bill, is there anything important you need to tell me? I mean I am very busy here.

Bill:

Oh sure you are, I know, honey. I just wanted to talk to you first… as soon as I got off the plane.

Hillary:

Oh, I planned on hearing from you, Bill.

Bill:

Okay babe, being I’m in L.A., I’m gonna go hit the strip tonight with Al and a few of his greenies. He’s got a super stretch that runs on mouse crap, or something. I’m just gonna go have a few laughs.

Hillary:

Hopefully no more than you’re having on this conversation, Bill.

Bill:

Oh I am sorry, Hill, it’s just… it’s just… don’t you just find this ironic? I mean I call the Obama camp a fairytale, and he has me go out there and save the day. Bet you wish it was you, huh Hillary?

(Click)

Bill:

Awww… she hung up. Hey, H.W., you still on the line?

President George Herbert Walker Bush:

Yeah, Bill, I’m here.. You still got it bro!

Bill:

Pretty good huh?

H.W.:

Oh man I am cryin’ here. I gotta call the boy and tell’m about this one. BWAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. See ya on the golf course, Billy!