Last Night on 'Glee': The People Want Pixie Sticks, and Why Girls Shouldn't Give it Up to Bad Boys

The following article contains spoilers. You’ve been warned.

Wow. So much to talk about in last night’s episode of “Glee.” You know I watch it all for you guys. Well, also because it’s wildly entertaining, and any time I can turn something interesting or fun into part of my job, I’m in.

Since the beginning of the season, there have been two election stories going on: the one for a congressional seat, and the one for senior class president of McKinley High.

The congressional race between evil cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester, an unnamed pizza magnate, and gay guy Kurt’s dad Burt came to an end last night when Burt won the seat. But that’s not what I want to talk about.

The high school election came to an end as well, and I do want to talk a little bit about that. The main contenders were the aforementioned Kurt and the stereotypically blonde Brittany. Brittany was the frontrunner since she kept passing out pixie sticks and empty promises to the electorate.

The high schoolers spoke; they wanted pixie sticks – just like so many people in 2008! The people spoke, and they wanted pixie sticks and unicorn dust. That’s why Barack Obama is our president. I really hope that the people watching “Glee” understand that candidates that promise magical powers are never able to deliver.

What I really want to talk about is sex and relationships.

Sex is special, okay? It connects you to another person. It can create a human being. It can pass along infectious diseases. No matter how you look at it, it’s a big deal.

So when Puck and Shelby hooked up, I was aghast! Puck is a high school student (an 18-year-old, after that whole “Desperate Housewives” debacle), and Shelby is a teacher at his school and the adoptive mother of his baby by classmate Quinn Fabray.

Adding to the appalling situation were the circumstances in which they ended up bumping uglies. Baby girl Beth had fallen and cut her lip, and Shelby called Puck from the ER because she was freaked out. He came immediately and was such a man about the situation. He demanded that Beth get proper treatment, and he comforted Shelby.

You know, because all high school bad-asses are really noble underneath it all.

What. Ever. I went to high school. I fell for the bad boys. Thankfully I didn’t get too involved with them, because guess what? High school bad boys don’t have hearts of gold. They have notches in their belts – or whatever the standard unit of measurement is these days for sexual exploits.

“Glee” is doing a disservice to teenage girls that watch the show by portraying Puck as some knight in shining armor. I don’t even want to know how many girls will get their hearts broken by believing that their bad boy is a noble Puck that just wants to have a family and raise his daughter.

Oh yeah, the kids all performed Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl,” which has less to do with homosexuality than with embracing promiscuity. Actual lyric from the song: Hope my boyfriend don’t mind it. You shouldn’t cheat ever, no matter the genders involved.

“Glee,” the therapists of America thank you. Your business will be booming in a few years thanks to this spoon-fed prime-time drivel.

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