Scarlett Johansson Reads the Bible in Porn Voice

Reuters
Reuters

Using an erotic, pornographic tone, Hollywood leading lady Scarlett Johansson reads verses from the Holy Bible on a new comedy album, in order to mock “misogynistic” quotes within the Book of Deuteronomy.

Former Saturday Night Live writer and occasional performer Mike O’Brien recruited the A-list star to voice a “Sexy Bible” track on his upcoming comedy album, Tasty Radio.

In the soundbite below, the 30-year-old Captain America actress reads a number of verses from the Old Testament’s Book of Deuteronomy:

“If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son, his father and mother shall bring him to the elders at the gate of his town,” says the actress, while pausing to breathe and add a seductive emphasis to certain words. “They shall say to the others ‘this son of ours is stubborn and rebellious.’ Then all the men of this town shall stone him to death.”

“Oh s—t, that felt sexy,” says O’Brien. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling like we could use a little music,” replies Johansson.

The sultry oration does not end there. Johansson continues reading in a breathy, sensual tone, once O’Brien introduces a raunchy music track.

The actress continues reading to the music, while the pair hint at being sexually aroused by the verses being read.

“When you go out to war against your enemies and the LORD your God delivers them into your hands and you take, captives… If you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife…”

Johansson also says in a seductive tone, “If two men are fighting and one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by the private parts, you shall cut off her hand.”

Mike O’Brien told Rolling Stone on Wednesday, “I’ve always wanted to do a sketch about the Old Testament, specifically Deuteronomy.”

O’Brien added, “Deuteronomy could be called ‘Laws for Stuff That Will Never Apply to 99% of Civilization,’ like what to do with a dead animal you find [or] what to do to a woman who grabs the junk of a guy who her husband is fighting.”

The album, which also features SNL alums Jason Sudeikis, Fred Armisen, and Seth Meyers, will debut on Oct. 30.

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