Colbert: Trump Will ‘Wipe His Fat Ass With the Constitution’ If He Loses


Late Night host Stephen Colbert ripped Donald Trump in a lengthy live monologue Wednesday night following the third presidential debate.

“Democracy’s going to end with a cliffhanger!” Colbert said in reference to Trump’s response about keeping America “in suspense” about whether he would immediately accept the election results.

“I guess we’re all going to have to wait until November 9 to find out if we still have a country,” Colbert joked. “If Donald Trump is in the mood for a peaceful transfer of power or if he’s just gonna wipe his fat ass with the Constitution!”

Colbert’s anti-Trump tirade lasted for more than 10 minutes, and it was relentless.

The CBS funnyman knocked Trump’s business ventures, saying, “I was surprised Trump decided to debate in Vegas, especially at the University of Nevada, because he hasn’t had a lot of luck with casinos or universities.”

Colbert also mocked the Republican nominee over sexual assault allegations: “Throughout the debate, Trump found time to tweet repeatedly, which is pretty surprising, but at least we know where his hands were.”

There were gags about Trump’s “tiny hands” and how he didn’t win an Emmy Award for The Apprentice.

Colbert, ramping up the theatrics, pulled out a pair of his own Emmys. “You really should get one, Donald,” Colbert said, while kissing the trophy. “They’re fantastic.”

“Trump lost to The Amazing Race,” Colbert added. “This year, it could go to the amazing racist.”


Follow Jerome Hudson on Twitter: @jeromeehudson