Hollywood Hatches Plot to Drive Away English-Speaking Moviegoers

Hollywood Hatches Plot to Drive Away English-Speaking Moviegoers

During a panel at the National Association of Theatre Owners (NATO), there was a major development that could forever shape the future of the movie-going audience. NATO head John Fithian has announced a new initiative guaranteed to ensure that no one other than those who cannot speak English ever attends the movies again.

NATO is now testing a device designed specifically to encourage every Spanish-speaking Hispanic to annoy the hell out of everyone else by using their cell phones during the entire movie.

With the Hispanic population growing, Fithian apparently assumes Hollywood and theater owners no longer need anyone who speaks English to attend films.

According to Deadline, Fithian is being quite candid about his sinister plot. After offering encouraging statistics about the growth in the number of Hispanic movie-goers, Fithian announced.  “We are testing simultaneous translation, personal devices that sync up with movies with an app while you’re watching a movie

The only idea Fithian could come up that would be more effective than encouraging the use of cell phones, would be to have human translators screaming out the Spanish translation during the film.

Follow  John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC