Ed. Note: Please welcome Ashley Sewell to Big Hollywood. Someone sent a link to her site and after a quick look I immediately asked if she would join our growing community. When you read what’s below, I think you’ll see why. — J.N.
I was in Austin Wednesday for the Texas Unions Day Off as they paraded around demanding state government keep its dirty paws off their pensions because, you know, we should keep cutting Child Support Programs and the Cancer Research & Prevention Institute so they can continue planning their retirement party in Jamaica, but whatever.
These two aren't going anywhere!
After the crowds dispersed to collect on the boxed lunch they were promised, I was approached by a guy who I immediately identified as a liberal, but not a union member (he wasn’t wearing a solid-color t-shirt, but he did reek of hipster). We exchanged niceties and politely told each other what we did: I’m a conservative blogger and he works for Moveon.org.
Yah.
Niceties continued and he asked me if I’d mind taking a few minutes to speak with him on camera. I believe both sides can engage in civil discussions and he was being very kind, so I agreed.
“What are some of your childhood Sesame Street memories?”
Um, what? Keeping up with the polite conversation, I answered about Elmo, Big Bird, counting – you know, Sesame Street stuff.
“Do you believe taking away federal funds for Public Broadcasting will rob future children of Sesame Street memories, like what you still clearly recall fondly today?”
Seriously? We’re really still talking about Sesame Street funding? 14 trillion in debt…
“If Sesame Street were to be privately funded, do you think having a small group of people in charge would change the messaging and educational standards of the program?”
How on earth did you find a way to make letters and numbers partisan?
The questions went on and on, but he was being so nice about it that I continued to politely answer until I asked to be excused to make an appointment (which he kindly respected). Overall, it was a very pleasant experience, except I just wouldn’t give him the answers that he wanted.
He lives in a trashcan. Would homeless really be that much worse?
If we de-fund Sesame Street, I promise you Oscar the Grouch won’t lose his trashcan. Big Bird will still have his big ol’ nest and Bert & Ernie will still have that ambiguously awkward roommate situation. The cultural icon that is Sesame Street will be snatched up by a private company, individual, or coalition of such for millions and millions of dollars. There is a boatload of money to be made selling Sesame Street toys, clothes, books, DVDs, and live performance tickets. Trust me, Sesame Street isn’t going anywhere.
As for the programming, well, there’s only so much room for interpretation of the alphabet and numbers, shapes and colors. Sure, you can teach it in different languages and use flashy graphics, but the fundamentals of toddler education remain the same at home and abroad. If, however, some Big Shot at 123 Sesame Street Corporate decided he wanted to change it up, I promise you that if he put one well-manicured toe tucked inside a Gucci ostrich loafer out of line, mothers around the world would retaliate. If there is one group you don’t want to poke with a big stick, it’s new mamas.
That said, it’s evident to me that the market would drive the content of Sesame Street. Parents will remain vigilant about the content, presentation, and products of the program regardless of who funds it, but perhaps even more so if it’s privately run. Don’t put it past an infuriated mother to put the kid in the Pack-N-Play, make phone calls, write emails, and tell all of their mommy friends about the disgrace of Sesame Street if such a folly should occur. The show’d be in the tank before it even knew it messed up.
So, with this great American icon in check, I say: Screw you, Big Bird. You’ve been living on handouts
Brush up your resume, dude - it's time to be a productive member of society.
long enough; it’s time for you to put your big bird pants on and go get a job, work for a living. No more tax dollars, entitlements, or kickbacks. You’re big enough to support yourself now, so get off your feathered hiney and go do it. And take Snuffy with you – heavens knows he could use a haircut.
A note to Cole, the Moveon.org guy: Thank you so much for being so polite on and off camera. Although I imagine we don’t agree on much of anything, I have great respect for you as an individual.
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