Nolte: Disney’s ‘Indiana Jones 5’ Opening Day Worse Than ‘The Flash’ Flop


According to various box office projections, Disney’s Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny is looking at a Thursday night opening between $6 and $7.5 million.

We’ll update you with the final figures, but either way, this could be glorious news of yet another devastating flop for the Woke Reich that runs the Disney Grooming Syndicate.

Context always aids in uncovering the truth, so let’s get to the context…

Mr. They/Them’s The Flash, which is considered one of the biggest flops in history, opened to $9.7 million on its Thursday night. The Flash went on to a $55 million three-day opening. As of now, Dial of Destiny is projected to open at around $65 million.

How bad is a $65 million opening?

Well, back in 2008, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Suck opened to $100 million over three days and $151 million over the five-day Memorial Day weekend.

Well, thanks to the 4th of July, this also happens to be a five-day weekend, and the most optimistic projection has Dial of Destiny squeaking to $100 million over those five days. The pessimistic projection is $80 million.

Worldwide, the projection is that Dial of Destiny will earn $140 million globally this weekend. Well, Crystal Suck opened to $272 million worldwide.

Basically, without accounting for inflation, Dial of Destiny is expected to do about half the business Crystal Suck did, and in the end, Crystal Suck earned $790 million worldwide.

Now we come to my favorite part…

Suppose Dial of Destiny ends up landing anywhere near half of Crystal Suck’s $790 million global haul. In that case, that will not cover Dial of Destiny’s production and promotion budget, which sits at right around $400 million. That means the Disney Grooming Syndicate could lose $200 million, which can only mean one thing…

Kathleen Kennedy will earn yet another massive promotion because that talentless, woke franchise killer has been failing her way up the chain of command for 15 years. She’s already killed Willow and the same Star Wars that survived the dreadful George Lucas prequels. If she proves capable of killing the same Indiana Jones that survived Crystal Suck, they will probably make her president of Disney, maybe even the president of the United States.

Keep in mind we are still in the land of Anything Can Happen. Granted, if I were part of the Disney Grooming Syndicate, Dial of Destiny’s dreadful Thursday night opening would have me in tears, but the movie could still overperform this weekend. It could have box office legs. Who knows? Just because we want bad things to happen to Disney’s child predators doesn’t mean those bad things will happen.


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