Move over Calendar Girls and E L James, there’s a new source of raunch in town: and it comes from quite an unexpected quarter.
As reviews of the big screen blockbuster 50 Shades of Grey lambast the film, the Wellington Womens’ Institute creative writing group has published a charity book of short stories, featuring one set to make readers hot under the collar, the Daily Mail reveals.
The Conquering Gibraltarian Adonis is a tale of two sex-starved sweethearts, Mariah and Clive, who are passionately reunited when he he returns form a spell at sea with a new coiffure of tumbling auburn curls and designer stubble.
Thankfully for the sleepy town in Somerset – and for the more virtuous members of the WI – the pair are married and intent on starting a family, so fitting in with the ethos of the group which started in 1915.
But the story, which one resident described as “smut” has Clive getting down to business before Mariah has barely had time to put the kettle on.
While E L James’s novel raised eyebrows and caused some in-seat shifting, the three page long novelette wastes no space on flowery prose, heading straight for the heart of the matter.
After the hero, Clive, announces, ‘I am a man in desperate, aching need’ there quickly follows a gush of heaving thighs and ‘magnificent bosoms’ with the rest unsuitable for repetition. But Mariah follows in Clive’s hedonistic wake, with the author declaring: ‘She was trying to play hard to get. That was becoming difficult as she really wanted it right now on top of the kitchen counter.’
‘Mariah giggled in that mischievous way he loved, whilst playfully taunting him with those eyes. ‘She feigned interest and bent over the worktop to reach the tin of tea bags. Clive put his hands around her waist from behind…’
The story ends with Clive, urged to “go faster” by his sweetheart, saying: “I can’t hold off any longer, love!”
Just as the ladies of Knapely WI raised millions for charity with their nude calendar – from which spawned a West End play and a Hollywood film, the book, which mainly features poetry and other prose more in line with expectations of a WI publication – is for charity.
But with such a change in direction naturally comes disapproval from some quarters.
Book shop owner Stacy Faulkner said a local WI woman came in and said: ‘I don’t know if you want to sell this because the last chapter is a bit raunchy’. She added: ‘I’ve been reading the book – I read the last chapter first! I can see why some of the older ladies are kicking up a fuss. But it’s just a bit of fun.’
And Enid Ray, who lives in Wellington, exclaimed: ‘Really, one does not expect such smut from a group of women involved in the WI,’ adding, ‘I was wholly shocked.’
The £4 book, Monumental Women’s Ink: Once Upon A Time Wellington WI, is being sold to raise money for nearby Musgrove Park Hospital’s Beacon centre for cancer treatment. It can be purchased via the group’s Facebook page.
Group leader Bridget Hodges explained the thinking behind the work. “When 50 Shades came out, we talked about it quite a bit. We decided that we would have a go and try to write some ourselves.
“In the end, only one of our members managed to produce a piece.” But the author wishes to remain anonymous,
“She doesn’t want anyone to know it was her,” Mrs Hodges explained. “She said her gran would be furious.”
It remains to be seen whether the book can raise the same amount of money as the women of Knapely but one thing is for sure: those three pages of raunch will guarantee more publicity and sales than the rest of the book put together.
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