World’s Most Famous Yogic Railway Engineer in Hacking Scandal

Quick! Whip out your onions at once and shed a tear for the world’s most distinguished former railway engineer Dr Rajendra Pachauri. The jet-setting, cricket-loving, ice-shunning, meat-spurning, troll-impersonating chairman of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has become accidentally embroiled in a sex scandal.

According to Guido:

“A 29 year old female employee at the Energy and Resources Institute, an environmental wonkshop of which Pachauri is Director General, lodged a police complaint against Mr Pachauri claiming she had received ‘unwanted’ physical advances, emails, WhatsApp messages and handwritten notes from the chair of the IPCC.”

Happily, it now emerges that there is a perfectly innocent explanation for this terrible misunderstanding. It seems that Dr Pachauri’s emails have been hacked by unknown cyber criminals who have been using his computer to commit “various criminal activities.”

And anyone who dares suggest otherwise can apparently look forward to the attentions of Pachauri’s learned friends in Delhi – who have already forced India’s Economic Times, which originally reported the 29-year-old female employee’s claims to remove them from their website.

Quite right too. Pachauri, as I have previously reported here, here and here is not only a man of absolutely unimpeachable moral and scientific integrity but also one of the world’s most seriously underrated writers of saucy romantic fiction.

Here, for those who have missed it, is a sample from his classic Return to Almora:

Afterwards she held him close. ‘Sanjay, I’ve learned something for the first time today. You are absolutely superb after meditation. Why don’t we make love every time immediately after you have meditated.