Michael Bloomberg? Seriously?
Because what people are looking for today as an alternative to the current occupant of the White House is a massively wealthy, arrogant New York City billionaire with his own fleet of private jets.
The only intelligent thing about Mr. Bloomberg running for the Democratic nomination for the presidency is what it says about the present crop of Democrats running for the nomination. They’re a hopeless bunch of losers who would rather destroy America than lose another election to President Trump.
He was a Democrat. Then a Republican. Then an independent. Now he is a Democrat again.
And the only reason his candidacy is being pushed at the moment is that supposed Democrat “front-runner” Joseph R. Biden has defecated in his own bed and his son has wound up being perhaps the only criminal actor in the Democrats’ whole Ukraine impeachment crusade.
That, and the fact that Mr. Biden has been running for president for about 45 years and — STILL — nobody wants him. The former vice president’s sputtering campaign has opened the door to candidates with truly crazy socialist agendas, such as Elizabeth Warren.
Everybody knows Ms. Warren will be bad news for billionaires, perhaps the only slightly appealing thing about her. So the Forbes 500 list got together and came up with the perfect candidate to thwart the Warren campaign and take on Donald Trump.
Please, can you imagine Little Michael Bloomberg filling an arena in Milwaukee with thousands and thousands of screaming fans?
But this is the funniest thing about a Bloomberg campaign.
One of the oldest and biggest complaints about President Trump is his supposed arrogance. I would argue that Mr. Trump is actually a marvelously self-deprecating — yet thoroughly confident — politician. So much so that he revels in people’s fear that he is some kind of unstoppable dictator. He will NEVER relinquish the White House peacefully. He will run in 2020. And then in 2024. And 2028.
He openly jokes about this partly to remind voters of his fairly incredible stamina — as if Mr. Trump really might run for president at the age of 112.
But the joke is also meant to torment those stupid enough to take it seriously.
Which brings us back to Mr. Bloomberg. Who served THREE terms as mayor of a city that had a strict TWO-term limit on mayors.
But not for Little Mike. He had the law changed for himself so that he really could blow the term limit meant for politicians.
Good luck. You don’t stand a chance.
• Contact Charles Hurt at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter @charleshurt.