Deflate-Gate Theory: Gronking Knocked the Wind Out of Balls


The New England Patriots throw their hands up in ignorance regarding allegations of deflated footballs.

“I don’t touch footballs,” Vince Wilfork pointed out. “I tackle.”

“It’s ridiculous,” Tom Brady opined. He insisted, “I don’t even respond to stuff like this.”

“I don’t know anything about it. It’s funny they come up with stuff like that,” Julian Edelman offered, adding an obligatory, “It is what it is.”

But tight end Rob Gronkowski, always one to stick out from the crowd, bucks the Foxboro Line on Deflategate. He believes a Patriot did indeed knock the wind out of the footballs in the 45-7 thrashing.

Alas, Gronkowski’s touchdown came in the third quarter on Sunday. The allegations stemmed from a first-half D’Qwell Jackson interception of a Tom Brady pass. Maybe the tight end had been Gronking on the sidelines or during warmups? The NFL’s investigation continues.