The latest chapter in the never-ending Planet of the Apes saga opens today, and the arch-villain is based on Elon Musk.
Hey, remember when the establishment loved Elon Musk— you know, until he decided not to censor conservatives and Donald Trump supporters on the Twitterz? That’s all it takes, you see. Musk can still be spending billions to save the planet from a unicorn called Climate ChangeLOL, but when you are an apostate on a single point, the left will ensure you are destroyed, ridiculed, sued, and smeared (I did warn him).
Anyway, this new one comes from Disney’s 20th Century-Fox division. It’s called Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes.
“Audiences will be introduced to the villainous bonobo Proximus Caesar when Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes hits theaters,” writes Entertainment Weekly, adding: “and if he reminds you of Elon Musk, it’s not a coincidence.”
Kevin Durand plays the character, and during a podcast was told by the interviewer that Proximus reminded him of Musk. Durand was pretty excited…
“That’s awesome! I mean even with the bonobo face, they compare me to Elon Musk,” he said. “But the fact that it comes through even when I’m an ape is fantastic!”
He added, “I get Elon Musk all the time actually, it’s very funny. People approach me with a look in their eye where I realize they are not meeting an actor that they like, it’s something bigger.”
Durand is a great actor, and an underappreciated actor, and he does resemble Musk. It doesn’t look, though, as if he was trying to denigrate Musk.
“I did look at really charismatic speakers,” he said. “I watched [life coach] Tony Robbins quite a bit, Elon, Arnold Schwarzenegger doing like his governor speeches. Just these humans who without trying, you just have to watch them as they hold so much power and charisma.”
So that’s the story, blah, blah… I only wrote it so I could rank my favorite Planet of the Apes movies… And no, I won’t see this new one. I’m done with sequels, prequels, franchises, and universes… As a matter of fact, I cannot think of a single movie where I would bother to see another chapter. It’s just the same warmed-over story, and there are too many older films I want to see again. Time is precious at my age.
And this new Apes movie looks pretty lazy. They didn’t even bother to change the location. For the third movie in a row, we’re in the jungle. Why? At least the new Quiet Place movie is set in New York. You gotta change things up. That’s what I liked about the Resident Evil franchise — from a lab to the city to a prison to Las Vegas… CGI’d apes in the jungle again. No. Anyway…
From best to worst…
- Planet of the Apes (1968)
- Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972)
- Escape from the Planet of the Apes (1971)
- Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)
- Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)
- War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)
- Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)
- Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973)
- Planet of the Apes (2001)
The first three are awesome. The next four are pretty good. The last two are okay. My guess is that this new one has gay apes, or trans apes, or something to make Normal People uncomfortable and “queer” our kids.
This is Disney, after all.
You’re welcome.
The only real news here is that Entertainment Weekly is still in business.
John Nolte’s first and last novel, Borrowed Time, is winning five-star raves from everyday readers. You can read an excerpt here and an in-depth review here. Also available in hardcover and on Kindle and Audiobook.