Dear Mr. President,

Please stop peppering yourself with unwarranted compliments.

That’s the American media’s job.

Every time you drop an unwarranted compliment and ludicrously assign far-fetched skills and superpowers to yourself, you give Chris Matthews three full minutes less to say every night, and that’s a problem, because then he has to fill the time with Sexual Weirdness.

There’s an old saying: If you have it, you don’t need to say so.

Read it, Learn it, Live it, said Judge Reinhold in Fast Times At Ridgemont High, and you should listen to him, because he’s a Cool Guy.

Thank you,

The American Public Whom You Are Gaslighting and Trolling Every Single Day