Republican Presidential contenders are melting like tourists on the Vegas Strip, without sunscreen, on a 117 degree day in July. Doesn’t anyone in the GOP actually want to run against the worst President in modern American history?

It can’t be Obama’s record that’s scaring Republicans. Obama is overseeing the worst economy since 1929…contributed heavily to the worst sovereign debt crisis in history…presiding over the worst collapse in real estate ever…helping to ensure the highest gas prices in history by refusing to allow oil drilling until recently…the list goes on and on. You’d think the Republican contenders would be licking their lips at running against that record? Instead they are falling by the wayside.

Let’s examine the carnage. This analyst and political pundit predicted Donald Trump’s political career was over three weeks ago when “The Donald” played casino pit boss and F-bombed his way through a Vegas speech. Have you ever heard of multiple F-bombs in a major political speech in by a Presidential contender? Unimaginable.

Forget the birth certificate controversy. Trump was still sitting high in the polls even after Obama released his birth certificate. But there was no escaping using multiple F-bombs on the biggest political stage. Not in a GOP filled with evangelical Christian voters, and parents who wash their children’s mouth out with soap for using that same word. Donald “F-bomb” Trump’s political career ended that day in Vegas.

What about Huckabee? A Presidential frontrunner, this former man of God couldn’t turn down fame and money. Huckabee proves even the Presidency isn’t as lucrative as a TV show on Fox News.

Then there’s Newt Gingrich. I winced as I heard Newt’s words on Sunday. It’s tough to watch a political career implode on national TV. Newt’s career is over. Forget President. I mean any future political career. Senator. Governor. Dog catcher. Newt was electrocuted on the third rail of GOP politics. He supported big government control of our lives, backed the central tenet of Obamacare, called the GOP proposal for cutting Medicare spending “radical right wing social engineering,” and back-stabbed GOP Congressional hero Paul Ryan. All in one day. Goodnight Newt. You and your third wife can go home now.

And then there’s Mitt Romney. Mitt had the White House for the asking. One speech apologizing for Romneycare and promising to never allow it to happen again, and Romney is the next President of the United States. Here’s the speech that Mitt should have given:

“I made a big mistake. States can act as laboratories for new ideas. We tried an experiment with government-directed health care in my state. It didn’t work. Costs are up. Waits are up. Doctors are leaving the state. The experiment failed. I was wrong and I apologize. But good things can come out of failure, if you learn a lesson. Here’s what I learned. Big Government cannot manage the nation’s healthcare system…or anything else. Government drove a brothel into bankruptcy in Nevada. Government ran gambling (Off Track Betting) into bankruptcy in New York. Big Government has given you a $14 trillion national debt- $100 trillion if you add in unfunded liabilities. Your children and grandchildren face a bleak future because of Big Government. Big Government is a failure; I proved it in Massachusetts. I won’t let it happen again. I’ve learned from my mistake. I will not allow Obama to destroy our healthcare system by putting the government in charge. You have my word.” Insert: STANDING OVATION.

But no, Mitt didn’t deliver that speech. He delivered the only speech that could possibly snatch defeat from the jaws of certain victory. He defended the disaster he created in Massachusetts. Really? Could anyone be that blind, deaf and dumb? Who wrote his speech- the Chicago Cubs?

Then we come to Libertarian legend Ron Paul. When it comes to economic issues, Paul is a visionary. This trailblazer warned America and the GOP about the dangers of big government, overspending and the Fed long before it was hip. If he ran as a Libertarian or independent third party candidate, Paul might actually have an opportunity to win the Presidency, or at least build a serious third party movement. Unfortunately his views on war, military spending, and Osama will make it highly unlikely he can win a GOP primary. But I see an ideal role for Congressman Paul in any Republican administration- Treasury Secretary or Federal Reserve Chief. Now that would have an impact.

Doesn’t anyone want to beat Obama? Who’s left? Tim Pawlenty and Mitch Daniels? Two boring middle-aged white guys with the charisma of Al Gore? That’s the best the GOP has? Watching wet paint dry is more exciting, than watching Pawlenty or Daniels deliver a speech. Sorry, boys, but wet paint drying isn’t going to defeat Obama. Not if he has his teleprompter working properly.

Yes others could yet become the darkhorse for the GOP nomination- Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Gary Johnson, perhaps even Sarah Palin.

But someone in the GOP had better hope that Chris Christie is having a change of heart. Then get down on your knees and pray. Pray hard. Then ring the doorbell of the New Jersey Governor’s mansion and start begging. Because without a Christie miracle, the worst President in modern history just became the favorite for re-election.