In a story that made only the tiniest blip on the media’s radar, police arrested 24-year-old Jose Andres-Jose for rape, aggravated indecent assault of a child, statutory sexual assault, and many other charges on August 14 near Raleigh, North Carolina.

Andres-Jose, an illegal alien from Guatemala, allegedly raped a child in Pennsylvania on July 18. PennLive reports he fled to North Carolina and used the alias “Luis Rodriguez.” PennLive simply identifies him as “Man” in the headline. No other outlet in the country seems to have thought it worth reporting that a man illegally in the country brutalized a child. Best-selling author Ann Coulter drew up a handy list for decoding stories reporting on in her latest book, ¡Adios America!: 

Usually, the only way to tell if a crime story involves an immigrant is if:
1. The crime involves a uniquely perverse sexual assault, such as gang rape, child rape, or incest;
2. The rapist is shocked that anyone thinks he did something wrong;
3. A woman is involved in the rape or the cover-up;
4. The rapist’s name would not be found in a phonebook from the 1960s;
5. Newspapers informatively refer to the rapist in their headlines as: “Man.”

Andres-Jose hits points one, four, and five. Alleged child rape, check. Would not be allowed into the country — even legally — if it weren’t for Ted Kennedy’s 1965 Immigration and Nationality Act, check. Describing an illegal alien accusing of disturbing crime as a “man,” check.

No further information on Andres-Jose’s case is available because the same media declaring that there is no illegal alien crime wave work hard to cover it up. As Breitbart News has exhaustively documented, 70,000 sex offenses could have been prevented if existing immigration laws had been enforced.

Andres-Jose is being held on $9.5 million bond.

Email Katie at kmchugh@breitbart.com. Follow her on Twitter: @k_mcq.