The far-left Washington Post went full-North Korea with a headline and tweet that pretty much claims His Fraudulency Joe Biden has cured poverty.

“Biden stimulus showers money on Americans, sharply cutting poverty in defining move of presidency,” the headline and tweet declared.

So, Biden endorses a $1.9 trillion stimulus where Americans receive a one-time payout of $1,400 and that’s suddenly an act of “sharply cutting poverty.”

Even this fake news outlet admits any additional help offered to lower-income families will disappear by the end of the year, but Super Joe is still curing poverty.

And what is the Post basing this headline on? What else!? One of those hand-picked “experts” the fake media always trot out to push its lies. Ready for this one…?

The latest stimulus will reduce poverty by a third, lifting nearly 13 million Americans out of it, according to an analysis by Columbia University’s Center on Poverty and Social Policy. Black Americans, Hispanic Americans, and poor families with children are set to benefit the most. Child poverty would be reduced by more than half, the researchers predict.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *deep breath* HAHAHAHAHAHA!

When has the federal government ever won a battle in its War on Poverty? Every time the federal government comes up with some ludicrous, fabulously expensive, one-size-fits-all social welfare program, the fake media trot out its experts to tell us: This is it! No, really, this is it! Except it never is it, because handouts don’t cure poverty. Handouts cause dependency and render fathers and marriage obsolete, which are the very things that cause permanent poverty.

Listen, I am totally in favor of these one-time stimulus checks that go directly to Americans. The China Virus was not our fault, plenty of people are hurting as a result, and by sending the money directly to us, there is no gigantic, permanent government bureaucracy being created to suck up most of the money. Sending stimulus checks to people and businesses is a great idea. We definitely should be helping people, especially the working class who are hit harder than anyone else when there’s an economic downturn.

My issue isn’t with that. What I have a big problem with is the Washington Post lying about Biden already curing poverty, as though no one has ever before thought of spending trillions of dollars on the poor — as though that exact same plan has not failed to cure poverty every time it’s been tried.

At the very least, could the Post not wait until we see the results before crowning His Fraudulency the Almighty Curer of the Poor?

Truth be told, I can’t tell if Biden wrote this Washington Post headline or if it was Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, the fascist Tech Lord who owns the Post. Either way, I’m sure Bezos appreciates a headline that basically says: Oh, hey, poverty’s cured, let’s go buy more shit we don’t need from Amazon!

Oh, and what was the headline when former President Trump signed a bigger stimulus package? “Trump signs $2 trillion coronavirus bill into law as companies and households brace for more economic pain.”

Gee, how come $1.9 trillion cures poverty but $2 trillion doesn’t?

Don’t ask questions, children, just do as you’re told and believe what you read.

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.