Thursday Call Sheet: Live-blogging the Worst Trailer Ever

UNIVERSAL HIRES NEW SCRIBES FOR ‘MIDNIGHT RUN 2,’ BRETT RATNER WILL DIRECT

Robert De Niro's already on board and Charles Grodin seems willing to temporarily suspend the awful work he's doing now  -- fighting to release criminals into neighborhoods other than his own -- for another go-round.

Regardless, this sequel is a terrible idea. Just terrible.

Both leads have completely lost their edge and magic, and you know they’re going to cast some young, obnoxious, smarter-than-thou hipster in the mix to really screw it up.

The original is pure magic and there's no way a sequel doesn't diminish those characters in the same way "Wall Street 2" diminished Gordon Gekko. You just want to bleach your mind of it all.

Here's a perfect headline on the story attitude-wise, but one that's unfair to Ratner. De Niro and Grodin and Universal should protect this series, not cash in on it. They’re the ones making this possible, not Ratner. If he declines, the project will simply move to another director -- and probably a lesser one.

WATCH THE 'JESUS HENRY CHRIST' TRAILER

Or, don't and instead read my live-blogging of the event:

  • Opens with tired "American Beauty-ish" music -- check.
  • Annoyingly precious child smarter and more mature than the grown-ups -- check.
  • Joyless Catholic Priest -- check.
  • Sex talk coming from said annoyingly precious child -- check.
  • Mood change to "wistfully thoughtful" at the 45-second mark -- check.
  • High degree of "quirk," which is really nothing more than irony gone retarded -- check.
  • Obligatory uplifting closer at amusement park and dances of joy in the rain -- check.

Just water-board me.

WARNER BROS ANNOUNCES 31-DISC HARRY POTTER BOXSET

For anyone interested in the ultimate collection featuring 31 discs of the dullest, most episodic and ploddingly painful franchise in Hollywood's history.

'30 ROCK' TO AIR ANOTHER LIVE EPISODE IN APRIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More publicity for a show ranked at right around 125 but, you know, all the right people watch it, so they pretend it's a phenomenon even though "Pawn Stars" probably pulls in as many viewers.

Did the entertainment media-class ever write for the people? Or have they always written for themselves?

NETFLIX EYES ABC DRAMA SERIES ‘THE RIVER’

Your days are numbered, Bundled Cable!

TEXTING IN THEATERS? MANY WANT IT

And they should all be murdered.

MGM BOOKS LOSS ON 'DRAGON TATTOO'

Hopefully, this will shut everyone up who was trying to spin this disappointment into something else.

The budget was $100 million, it made $231 million worldwide, and it lost money. This is how you have to look at box office returns.

MGM and Sony claim the plans for the sequel are still on the table, but unless there's some sort of phenomenon built up around the home video release, why would they?

I haven’t seen it and for some reason wasn't able to wrangle a screener. I'll rent it, though. Fincher is a major talent, and that's enough for me.

REMINDER: NO ONE WATCH STEWART AND COLBERT

Comedy Central, 11-11:30 p.m. “The Daily Show,” 1.9 million

Comedy Central, 11:30 p.m.-midnight ET, “The Colbert Report,” 1.4 million

Normally, I would  make this a standalone story, but I think these fascist clowns are in reruns this week.

Still, they suck.

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LAST NIGHT'S SCREENING

The Killing (Season One) - Maybe because I was prepared for the worst, the season-ending cliffhanger didn’t bother me in the least. Other than a few rough episodes towards the end, overall, I look forward to season two, which, I think, starts in a few weeks. Of course, I don’t get AMC, so I'll have to wait for Bluray or Netflix -- which is fine.

Though the tone and everything else is completely different, if you look close enough, you'll see that "The Killing" is structured almost exactly like "24." The red herrings, the subplots that lead to red herrings and false climaxes, the cliffhanger… Very Jack Bauer-ish.  

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COMING SOON TO HOME VIDEO

THE FRANK SINATRA FILM COLLECTION

The 10-title collection spans 11 years of Frank Sinatra’s amazing career including some of his most memorable and critically-acclaimed performances:

·       "A Hole in the Head" – Academy Award® winner Best Music/Song

·       "Can-Can" – Academy Award® nominee Best Costume Design, Best Music

·       "The Manchurian Candidate" – Academy Award® nominee Best Actress, Best Film Editing

·       "Von Ryan’s Express" – Academy Award® nominee Best Effects, Sound Effects

This perfect Mother’s Day gift is available for the SRP of $49.98 U.S. / $69.98 Canada.

THE JOHN WAYNE FILM COLLECTION

This 10-title collection features films from over 39 years of John Wayne’s legendary career including some of his most memorable and critically-acclaimed films, including The Barbarian and The Geisha, on DVD for the first time!

·       "Red River" – Academy Award nominee Best Writing, Best Film Editing

·       "The Alamo" – Academy Award winner Best Sound, Academy Award nominee Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor, Best Cinematography, Best Film Editing, Best Music

·       "The Longest Day" – Academy Award winner Best Cinematography, Best Affects, Academy Award nominee Best Picture, Best Film Editing, Best Art Direction

Perfectly timed for Father’s Day, this collection is available for the SRP of $49.98 U.S. / $69.98 Canada.

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SCOTTDS' EPIC LINKTACULAR

5 REASONS "THE HUNGER GAMES" IS NOT "BATTLE ROYALE"

NEW "BATTLESHIP" FEATURETTE SHOWS HOW THE ALIENS LEARN ABOUT EARTH

WOODY ALLEN'S NEXT FILM RE-TITLED: "TO ROME WITH LOVE" TO OPEN JUNE 22

GALLAGHER RELEASED FROM HOSPITAL AFTER HEART ATTACK AND COMA

SETH ROGEN AND KEVIN HART TO STAR IN BUDDY COP COMEDY

"THE WALKING DEAD" SEASON 3 WILL TACKLE CONTROVERSIAL COMIC MOMENTS

WATCH EVERY STAN LEE CAMEO EVER

10 WAYS TO MAKE "THE WALKING DEAD" LESS STUPID

HOW "21 JUMP STREET" EXCEEDED EXPECTATIONS

THE 2012 SXSW MOVIES PEOPLE NEED TO SEE

THE FACT THAT "THE LORAX" IS A HIT AND "JOHN CARTER" IS A FLOP IS DISAPPOINTING

THE KING OF COMEDY: JERRY LEWIS AT 86

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM "THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO" COMMENTARY

10 WORST SCI-FI REMAKES OF ALL TIME

CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF "RAISING ARIZONA"

 

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CLASSIC PICK FOR FRIDAY, MARCH 23

TCM:

12:45 PM: North By Northwest (1959) -- An advertising man is mistaken for a spy, triggering a deadly cross-country chase. Dir: Alfred Hitchcock Cast:  Cary Grant, Eva Marie Saint, James Mason.  C-136 mins, TV-PG, CC, Letterbox Format.

Better with each viewing.

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Please send comments, suggestions and tips to jnolte@breitbart.com or Twitter @NolteNC.


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