News That Matters: Iran, North Korea, Perez Hilton?

I consider myself to be a man with my priorities in order. That’s why I’m so satisfied with the mainstream media’s ability to cover all of the right affairs. Let’s face it, Iran will always be a quagmire. Let’s put them on the backburner and “bear witness.” North Korea? … Eh. Perez Hilton getting punched in the face by the black guy from The Black-Eyed Peas? There’s your cover story right there.

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Note: No gratingly bitchy men were actually harmed during the making of this video.