ABC Finally Asks The Oil Question

On “Good Morning America,” Robin Roberts asks, “is there anything the President can really do to stop the rising gas prices here at home? Jake Tapper has more …”

Finally an answer! Finally! They must’ve read my previous colums here on Big Journalism and they’re going to mention the non-stop printing of money and a major drop in domestic production as the main reasons for the rise in oil prices, certainly they won’t blame the middle east again, would they?

Uh oh — Jake started with Libya. Libya this, Libya that. “An OPEC ripple that has hit American shores, fueling American uncertainty and spiking prices,” said Tap Tap.

Democrat Jay Rockerfeller called for Barack Obama to open the strategic reserves (as Bush did when prices spiked in 2008.) “To relived uncertainty and economic harm happening in our country,” Rockerfeller said.

Throughout the story they post this banner in the “bottom third” of the screen. “PRESIDENT’S TOUGH TALK.”

I haven’t heard the President yet, and I have heard no tough talk.

Then finally, Jake gets to the heart of the matter and he’s going to answer the question Robin asked him during the intro to the story. “What is the White House doing about this?” he asks to no one in particular.

Here’s the answer: “The President is … uh … uh … extremely aware of the impact that the spike in oil prices can have in gas prices,” said his spokesman Jay Carney is a short, choppy sentence.

That’s tough talk? Tough talk? I felt like Ralphie after he opened the Ovaltine prize and found the clue was a “stinking commercial.”

But, I should say this, it’s great to see that the President actually knows that when oil prices go up, gas prices go up. This guy is an absolute genius! Smartest man in the world! Now I know he must’ve gone to Columbia. You don’t put together the link between oil and gas prices rising unless you’ve do a lot of Ivy League studying.

Margaret Brennan from Bloomberg sits down with George and throws out this gem, “We’re driving forward but we’ve got the brakes on.” Nice choice of words. We can’t afford to drive much of anywhere right now.

George piles it on when he refers to the high gas prices and says, “It’s not yet a threat to the economy, when does it become a threat?” Not a threat? Have you seen food prices lately? Clothing? Who fills up your gas tank George?

I thought the media was there to protect us. Here the media is making excuses for the rise in gas prices by blaming madman Gadaffi for me paying $3.59 a gallon and my family in California paying $4.59 a gallon for gas. They are providing cover for Dear Leader.

Of course America doesn’t buy it. As I have said in the past, the printing of money and the extreme down turn in domestic production are the reasons gas prices are going through the roof. The President can control both of those things and the media knows it, but ignores it.

Back to the question asked at the top, ABC never answered it in their story. Is there anything the President can do to stop the rising gas prices here at home? Since it was never answered, I’ll go ahead and do that here since Jake (actually a very good reporter overall) decided not to answer the question. I’ll stand in front of the Green Screen so ABC can make me appear anywhere they want me to be.

ROBIN: “Ron, is there anything the President can do to stop the rising oil prices?”

RON: “Yes Robin, there are things the President can do. He can lift the moratorium on drilling for oil in the Gulf. Those guys are hurting down there, they’re out of work and we need to bring our oil to shore. Obama can demand we start drilling in ABWR. That place is loaded with oil and it’s time that we try to win the future by getting some of that oil. He could also start lifting the serious regulations slowing down production in Big Sky country. The Rockies are loaded with oil and we’ve got to start doing everything we can to get that stuff.”

ROBIN: “But, but, but aren’t we going to kill the planet with all this global warming?”

RON: “Robin, we haven’t seen Sam Champion in more than a month, he’s buried somewhere in a snow drift — don’t worry about global warming, the planet is actually cooling …”

ROBIN: “But we can’t blame the President for all of this, it’s a tough job there in the White House.”

RON: “Yes, it is a tough job … have you ever tried to make a 20 foot, downhill putt with a 12% break? It aint easy, but our President deals with problems like that all the time, missing that putt could cost a buck or two — and speaking of money, Obama’s incessant printing of dollars is doing more to hurt the oil price than anything else out there right now. I didn’t attend Columbia, but I know that since the price of oil is tied to the dollar, that if you print more dollars the price of oil will go up. I learned that during Econ 101 at BYU. I really was in the class, but nobody saw me there because my hair was long, I wore a hat and was hiding from the folks in the Standards Dept. They can be tough, you know.

ROBIN: “Do you think Obama is getting bad advice from his advisors, is that the problem?”

RON: “Of course he is, have you seen who he has around him? Horrible advice, but that’s no excuse. If Obama wants to solve this problem and be the bi-partisan President that he says he is he needs to call Sarah Palin to the White House and talk to her about her Drill here, Drill now, program. Bring in Mitt Romney and ask him how to fix the money woes of this country to get Americans back to work and bring in Bush 43 to get some advice on Libya — you know it was George W who got Gadaffi to give up his nukes while he was President. They took ’em to a warehouse in Tennessee. Maybe he’ll listen to Dubuyya. Imagine if that madman in Libya still had all those nukes right now, whew!”

ROBIN: Sorry Ron, we’re losing your signal — we’ve gotta go back to George in a hurry and talk about the latest with Charlie Sheen …

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