Republicans: DebatesRUs

I think we should have Republican debates every day. Every day.

We should demand the candidates meet in one place every 24 hours and just pound each other early and often. If they can’t make it, they attack each other on Skype. Now, two debates a day might be a little much, but I’m open to that option as well, just as long as it helps the media destroy the carcass of the last Republican standing.

I have some thoughts on how this could be done and some of the questions that could be asked. I have been inspired by George Stephanopoulos and his questions in New Hampshire. Specifically, his brilliant question to Mitt Romney on whether states should be allowed to ban contraceptives. I was so happy to hear that question because it’s so relevant to us here in Nevada. I hope during the next debate somebody asks about prostitution and contraceptives. Nevada holds its caucus Feb 4th and there are certain counties in this state where they are just itching to get an answer to that burning question.

There are loads of great questions that could be asked in these new Daily Debates.

Since there are Vietnam Era questions being asked at the debates, I hope before voters cast ballots in South Carolina the candidates are asked for their opinions on the Louisiana Purchase. Perhaps they can go after Ron Paul on this issue saying his isolationism is inconsistent with the 1803 Purchase. S. Carolina was not part of the Louisiana Purchase, but that doesn’t matter, I just think it would serve the voters well to know the answers to these vital and relevant issues. Louisiana is a swing state and a wrong answer here by one of the Republicans could wipe them out!

Perhaps ESPN, ESPN 2 and ESPN Classic can hold debates as well. With Daily Debates, everybody can get into the act. Lib sports guy Kenny Mayne could grill Romney on his favorite sports team(s). “Detroit Tigers or Boston Red Sox?” Since there is no right answer he could cause Romney to lose votes in both Michigan and Massachusetts, then somebody could pull up the file video of him wearing a San Diego Padres hat and call him a triple flip-flopper.

The History Channel could do debates and ask Rick Perry what he would think of sending troops to Canada to battle the British in the War of 1812. If he says he would have opposed the move, then he can be attacked for bring anti-James Madison. If he says he would’ve approved, then he can be compared to that other War Monger from Texas who lived in the White House way back in the early days of this millennium.

The ideas are limitless and enlightening.

National Geographic could show Newt Gingrich on the couch with Nancy Pelosi and then grill the rest of the candidates on why they hate polar bears and snail-darters.

The media could also find a network that would love a Jon Huntsman debate entirely in Chinese and Romney could answer in French. That might be so popular it could be on pay-per-view. Wrap it around the next UFC fight.

This game plan would help us all forget about trillions of wasted dollars, gun running to Mexico, and un-Constitutional recess appointments—silly little things like that.

With all the minute-by-minute analysis that would undoubtedly come from the Activist Old Media they could tell the Republican candidates who they should gang up on next. Pick a front runner, then knock him down.

Of course the Republicans could end the madness by just saying no to endless debates and stupid questions and turn the attention back on the corrupt White House, but why would they want to do that?

“Coming up at 11, Rick Santorum stumbles on debate question about SPF numbers on sun tan lotion, could this cost him the Florida vote?”