Emasculating America

Discouraging scorekeeping wasn’t enough for high-minded elites looking to bring fairness to the competitive world of little league football. No. The crusade to diminish the meanness that comes with losing is out. In is the question of whether America’s moral standing is made moot by our passionate devotion to the dangerous game of football.

Even the nonexistent son of the president (just imagine that he looks like Travon Martin) might not be allowed to play football. In an interview with The New Republic, President Obama admitted that he’s a “big football fan. But I have to tell you if I had a son, I’d have to think long and hard before I let him play football.” “And I think that those of us who love the sport are going to have to wrestle with the fact that it will probably change gradually to try to reduce some of the violence. In some cases, that may make it a little bit less exciting, but it will be a whole lot better for the players, and those of us who are fans maybe won’t have to examine our consciences quite as much,” the president concluded.

And there you have it. Although, I doubt the average football fan will be swayed by the president’s remarks. Sadly, that won’t stop The Great Emasculators from arguing that America’s favorite sport is physically dangerous, a mental health risk, and potentially hazardous to “our consciences.”

The war on football isn’t coming. It’s already here.