Vladimir Putin ‘Scores’ Seven Goals in Birthday Hockey Game

Vladimir Putin
The Associated Press

Russian President Vladimir spent his 63rd birthday playing hockey in Sochi as his warplanes dropped bombs on Syria.

The attention-seeking public figure took center ice in Sochi with former Russian NHL players to show off his amazing hockey skills. Of course, Putin’s team won 15-10, an extremely high score for a hockey game.

Oh, and Putin scored seven goals. That is a double hat trick plus one.

Former stars Pavel Bure and Vyacheslav Fetisov played along side the president. Fetisov, who famously fought against the USSR to play hockey in the NHL, “[R]epeatedly fed the puck” to Putin.

Defense Minister Sergei Shoigu also played in the game. He is the man who informed Putin on television that four ships in the Caspian Sea launched 26 rockets into Syria. He claimed the missiles destroyed “all 11 intended targets” and were not “targeted at civilian areas.” Russia needed approval from Iran and Iraq in order to launch the attack since the missiles travelled through their airspace.

“Strikes have hit 112 targets from September 30 until today,” he stated. “The intensity of the strikes is increasing.”

Artists displayed their creations of the president in the “Putin Universe” exhibit in Moscow. They drew him as Neo from The Matrix, Buddha, Che Guevara, Gandhi, Sherlock Holmes, and Saint Joan of Arc.

“Vladimir Putin’s character is the embodiment of heroism, fairness, slyness, intellect, courage and charm,” explained the organizers.

Last year, Mikhail Antonov, a political science graduate at Moscow University, collected paintings of Putin as Hercules in an art exhibit for Putin’s birthday.

“We’re forming a different image of Putin because the western media constantly criticises him, and our media occasionally attacks him as well,” Antonov said. “But here we see him completing these heroic deeds. We see that the interpretation of these events is not so categorical.”

It does not appear the popup store with Putin merchandise reopened for celebrations like it did for his 62nd birthday. The store is filled with merchandise that bears Putin’s face and his achievements. It first opened June 2014, and items flew off the shelves. It was opened again in August and was visited by American actor Mickey Rourke. He described Putin as a “real gentleman, very cool, a regular guy.”