After three days and hundreds of submissions, it’s time to announce the winners of the #FabulousWall contest.
For those unhappy souls who missed my first announcement, I recently gave you all the opportunity to win one of Breitbart’s limited edition “Border Wall Construction Co” T-shirts, modelled by yours truly and the Queen of Conservative Media, Ann Coulter, earlier in the week.
To win this stunning, stylish prize, all you had to do was decorate a picture of me standing in front of the Wall. It was a tremendously difficult task, as any picture featuring me is almost impossible to improve upon.
But, with the promise of fabulous Breitbart swag in your minds and a love of Daddy’s America in your hearts, hundreds of you submitted your entries. And now it’s time for the difficult task of selecting the winners.
But first, here are seventeen honourable mentions that caught my eye…
— FriarFire (@FriarFire) July 12, 2016
I was sorely tempted to put this entry, from @FriarFire, in the top three. It perfectly captures the moment of my creation.
— Mike Young (@MikeYoungLaw) July 13, 2016
This one, from @internetsquire has Daddy and me on the Mexican side of the wall, a wilderness inhabited by terrorists and evil-doers.
@_Saint_Pablo is clearly a man of exquisite taste. Daddy, Mariah, and Ann all in one picture!
— Milton Friedman 🇺🇸 ❌ (@MiltonFriedman) July 13, 2016
@palmettoteam gets bonus points for the nod to Adam Baldwin’s introduction to The Milo Yiannopoulos Show, which you can listen to every week at Podcast One.
If I had a heart, @BasedGodEmperor’s picture would make me well up with tears of patriotic joy. “He came here legally” is a stroke of genius.
Meme magic strikes again.
This man literally languished in a jail cell for the right to send this tweet.
Lord Of The Rings fan @Vox_Populi___ really got creative here. In the books, you have to say one word in Elvish in order to pass through the gates of Moria. At Trump’s wall, that won’t be good enough: you’ll have to pass an entire English exam.
— footthumb (@f00tthumb) July 12, 2016
— Logan Saint (@iTopDog_) July 13, 2016
The picture is good, but more importantly, @iTopDog is cute.
— Todd Judges (@ToddJudges) July 13, 2016
Very good, @NaesRetro. Very good indeed.
10 MILES HIGHER!
— Todd Judges (@ToddJudges) July 12, 2016
This man actually went into Minecraft to build his very own Fagwall. This is the kind of dedication I inspire.
— oAntixo (@oAntixo) July 13, 2016
Dangerous Daddy and Dangerous Faggy, side by side. Just as it was meant to be.
— Doctor Pepe (@kajmikaelerik) July 12, 2016
Yes, @kajmikaelerik. Yes we are.
After much deliberation, and agony at all the hearts I have to break, it’s time to whittle down the contest to just two runners up, and one winner. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most fabulous photoshopper of them all…?
THIRD PLACE: @greg_a_elliott
Clearly, this man was born for Twitter. It’s going to take a lot more than the Canadian justice system to keep him away!
SECOND PLACE: @fenclstudio
— Brian Fencl (@fenclstudio) July 13, 2016
This image would be perfect, if it weren’t for two things. One – there should be a much larger bulge in Daddy’s spandex. Two – he would NEVER let me be on top, and I wouldn’t want that either! Other than that it’s FABULOUS.
— 4THand100 (@4thand100) July 13, 2016
This is one of the most mesmerizing GIFs I’ve ever seen. I’ve been watching it on loop for half an hour. The picture leaves more questions than it answers. Was there a pile-up as the horde of illegal aliens ran into the wall? Did people die? How many times can I press the button before the wall stops getting higher?
To all the contest entrants, we salute you and wish we could send you all free shirts. But alas, rules are rules so we must direct you to the link below…until the next competition.