Don’t Hold Your Breath: Golfers to Vote for Hillary if She Cuts Taxes

Hillary Rodham Clinton
AP Photo/Mark Lennihan

Fifty-seven percent of PGA, Champions, and LPGA tour players said they would vote for Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton if she vowed to slash their taxes in half over a Republican candidate who ran on keeping the tax status quo.

The survey conducted by granted players anonymity and asked questions that revealed some interesting and surprising answers. In addition to the answers, some “Loose Lips quotes” by anonymous players provided additional context. The Loose Lips quote cited regarding Hillary offering to cut taxes was, “If she ever said that, she’d be lying.”

The golfers picked Jack Nicklaus over Tiger Woods as the best golfer ever, selected Tiger over Rory McIlroy to win 19 majors, and chose Fred Couples as the preferred choice for the next U.S. Ryder Cup team.

Below are some of the survey results:

-Would you rather be the best putter on Tour or the best driver?

(From the “drive for show putt for dough bible,”  the flat out far and away most decisive answer to a question) Putter: 86% Driver: 14%…Loose lips: “That’s a stupid question. The best putter always wins.”

-What’s the best course on Tour?

Riviera: 18%, Muirfield Village: 15%, Colonial: 15%Harbour Town: 15%

-Bonus question: Have you ever tried to trick the person who checks the hotel mini-bar?

PGA Tour: Yes: 27% No: 73%…Loose lips: “All the time.  Yes, but not for booze — it was for Coke!”

The golfers, anonymously at least, called out two of their own in the headlines for the wrong reasons.

Just nine percent agreed with the idea that Dustin Johnson left the tour last year voluntarily. A report, disputed by the PGA, claimed that Johnson had tested positive for cocaine. Nearly three-quarters of respondents agreed with the notion that Johnson did not leave the tour on his own volition.

“Let’s say a Tour player were to concoct a bizarre kidnapping story to cover up his own drunken misbehavior,” the survey asked. “On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the least), how likely was Robert Allenby to be that player?” Zero percent offered “1” as an answer. More than a quarter answered “8” and 29% answered “9” or “10.” Less than a quarter gave a “5” or less.