Man Sues for Right to Marry His Laptop to Protest Same-Sex Marriage

REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson
REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson

Claiming equal protection under the law as same-sex couples, a graduate of Vanderbilt Law School has sued the state of Texas for the right to wed his porn-laden Macbook laptop.

The lawsuit filed against three Texas officials is Mark Christopher Sevier’s third attempt to question the U.S. Supreme Court case legalizing same-sex marriage.

“The question is,” said Sevier in an interview, “should we have policies that encourage that kind of lifestyle? The state is not doing anyone any favors by encouraging people to live that lifestyle. We have to define marriage.”

His previously filed suits in Utah and Florida that were dismissed, but Sevier plans to repeat the process in a dozen other states soon. The Floridian claims he is fighting for the rights of “other minority sexual orientation groups” equal to same-sex couples’ “right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts.”

The Army veteran has quite a history with the law, outside of practicing it in Teneessee until 2011 when his license was suspended due to “mental infirmity or illness” reportedly related to PTSD incurred after serving in Iraq. The self-described Christian music producer has also been charged with stalking a 17-year-old girl and country music artist John Rich.

 

In 2013, Sevier sued Apple for selling him the Macbook without an integrated porn filter. As Sevier explained in his motion against the tech giant:

Recently, I purchased an Apple computer. The computer was sold to me without filters to block out pornography. I was not provided with any warning by Apple that pornography was highly addictive and could alter my reward cycle by the manufacturer. Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women. Naturally, I “fell in love” with my computer and preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things, as a result of classic conditioning upon orgasm.

Sevier continued to allege “interference of the marital contract” caused by “unfair competition” between his wife and the porn stars.

In addition, Mr. Sevier has attempted litigation against A&E television network for suspending Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson over to controversial comments on homosexuality.

Despite his continued failure, Sevier insists the lawsuit is not a joke: “[This lawsuit] is not a matter of who’s on the right side of history. This is about who is on the right side of reality. Are we just delusional?”

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