Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Garrison Keillor Presents
A Prairie Home Companion Special Election Night Poetic Commentary
Reverend Jesse Jackson and New York Times Publisher Arthur “Pinch” Sulzberger
Invoke the Bard of New England
With the Frost There Comes a Thumpin’
First Reading
“Sobbing in the ‘hood on Election Evening”
(Apologies, “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening“)
Recited by the Reverend Jesse Jackson
These exit polls, portending woe,
Don’t mean that I’ll be eating crow.
I warned him, made it crystal clear
The race was always his to blow.
His counselors must think I’m seer
Because I said he’d lose last year
When all he prized was Kobe steak
And flailing at that little sphere.
My urban base is stunned awake;
What will the new Man give–or take?
As is my wont, I’ll school the creep
And show the world he don’t know Jake.
The road is twisty, hard and steep,
And Sharpton’s sniffing ’round my sheep,
But I’ll remain atop the heap,
But I’ll remain atop the heap.
Second Reading
“The Gray Lady Shaken
(But Not Stirred)”
Recited by Arthur “Pinch” Sulzberger, Publisher, New York Times
(Deepest Regrets, “The Road Not Taken“)
Two men contest for the nation’s good.
Just one’s entitled to take the oath
And rule our land as I think he should,
Squashing our pride, as he said he would,
Those who approve and those who are loath.
But the wrong man’s won, with votes to spare;
Did so even though we rigged the game,
(Quite a lot more than we usually dare)
To get what’s rightly our fair share,
While doing our best to shake off shame.
Now, I have a decision to weigh:
Steer my ship straight or leftward tack.
I’ve given it thought; honor’s in play.
So many contend we’ve gone astray,
Setting a course from which we can’t come back.
I shall be shaping news ’til I die,
Even if through a paywall fence.
What counts, how well we spin and lie,
Spot pick the “what” and omit the “why”
To ensure our readers’ ignorance.
Author’s note: Not everyone’s cup of tea, the parody poem is an odd bird in the satire aviary. Its success depends in some measure on readers’ familiarity with the original work (links provided above).
There’s no “right” way to compose these things. I try to get close to the original’s rhythm by using the same number of syllables in each line and duplicating the rhyme scheme. I don’t slavishly mimic the poem’s basic “meter” (pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables.)
If this sort of thing interests you, check out two other (political) parody poems I’ve published on Big Journalism here and here. Also, you may find this list of poetry terms useful. Finally, here’s a simple primer on writing parody poems. Warning: it isn’t as easy as you might think. An analogy: place an open grocery paper bag (or a piece of popcorn) in front of you. Now draw it. Simple, right?
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