Eating Lunch Alone. A Republican In Hollywood.

Fade In. Dolly in.

We see me, a man that serves in a important creative supporting role, seated at a meeting attended by executive powers of a most important television show. My head is down, pencil plowing away into the yellow legal pad in my lap.

The creative instructions being deftly administered by the executive powers are paused just for a moment. It’s time for the real work, for it is close to election day.

Lob. The first political volley of the morning is launched by one of the powerful ‘persons’ in the room. I keep my head down and underline several previously written sentences actually trying to remain focused on the technical task that feeds my children.

As I am underlining, I hear just about every other word of the statement, then only raise my head when the laughter starts.

The lobbed statement:

Bush… blahblah blah,… moron… blah blah blah,… red states,,, blah blah blah… morons

The sycophantic laughter and response from the underlings:

Oh hooo hooo hooo. Yesssss we knoooow.

I grip anger with my mouth in sort of a resigned smile. I’m angry not at their opinion, but at the arrogance of thinking that everyone in the room, and or that matter in Hollywood,… well, okay, the state of California; thinks as they do. I don’t respond. I certainly don’t betray my convictions, but, I don’t respond. Some of you might think that is cowardly. You might be partially correct, but with a family that depends on me, I just pick and chose my conversations where the audacity of my political opinions at least won’t be relegated to the pigeonholed compartment of Nazism and or racism.

When I do enter into one on one discussions, it’s usually in the parking lot, begun after someone from the other side sees a political bumper sticker on my family car. After the too often: “Ernie! You’re a musician! How could you be a Republican!? (As if creativity is reserved for liberals only.) I generally smile, ignore their prejudice, and engage them in some great conservative principles like;

1. Freedom of opinion.

(This engages them, but then confuses them, as my opinion is assuredly not theirs. Their eyes start to wander looking for way out of this uncomfortable talk.)

2. Protection of my children (and this most important television show) with a strong national defense.

(They eagerly scan the horizon looking for a more important person to have lunch with.)

And I usually lower the boom by asking if they have any understanding or appreciation of what those basic principles are. Usually, in a one on one, they say, “Well in a way…sure…”

I smile, extend my hand, and welcome them to the Republican party.

Alas, once again – I am eating lunch alone.

During the presidential election of 2000 and the ensuing chad war, I participated in the demonstrations down at the Federal Building in Los Angeles. It was a standard demonstration except for the fact that it was attended by a good amount of Republicans. In fact, in the beginning of the day it’s looked as though we really outnumbered the other side. NPR had a reporter down there and was doing a story on nontraditional Republicans, – what ever that means. She interviewed several of us. The woman was kind and gentle, but looked a little befuddled that we as a species even existed.

However the biggest befuddlement of the day was reserved for those on the other side. It seems several of the protesters on the liberal side were outraged that an African American man and I were walking together side by side carrying signs for our side.

One of the supposedly open minded tolerant bunch singled him out and yelled; “You should be ashamed of yourself walking with them!”

I wheeled on him and requested if the reason should be ashamed was that he was African American?

“He should be ashamed of himself!!” again was his retort.

“You mean he is not allowed to belong to our party because of his race?”

“Yes! You Republicans are all damned racists!”. The clown shouted.

My friend just looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. I was trying to regain my composure so as to not have my shoulders use the arms below them.

If you think there is a liberal agenda in Hollywood, you are so very correct.

Liberals enforcing their ideas and agenda into television and movies is fairly commonplace. The producers are the ones in control of the show and feel it is their moral duty to educate the rest of us lowly morons with their take on; politics, religion, and sexual orientation.

Countless times I have been privy to the not so subtle attempt at reeducation for the red states. Once we were previewing a show, and the producer paused the tape and showed us the strategically placed picture of Dick Cheney in the office of the evil heavy on the show. Chuckles about the room… broken pencil point on my legal pad.

On a recent movie, the foreign born director of this American film chose to portray his openly hostile anti-American feelings through his choice of songs with lyrics taking us and our way of life to task. (Meanwhile collecting his paycheck from one of our horrible U.S. payroll companies.)

Another time I was the music director of an awards show that featured one of the last appearances of Charlton Heston. Before we began taping, I introduced myself as a fellow Republican. He was pleased. But then when introducing my wife I said; “Mr. Heston this is my wife, she was a liberal, but I have wooed her over to our side. She now votes Republican.’ His eyes widened as he shook her hand heartily and with his singular very deep Charlton Heston voice bellowed; ‘Now that’s the stuff!

I don’t meet many other Republicans out here. When I do, I usually have to divine that they are one of us from their comments and demeanor. Recently a woman was in a group of folks I was meeting with at a San Fernando Valley watering hole. A friend in the group was questioning why I was voting for McCain and not the genius liberal invention from Chicago.

After fending off most of the “you’re kidding me!?” comments I saw this woman smugly smile at me. My red-state-radar was functioning, and with that glance I knew, she was a cast-off like me. I approached her when the others weren’t looking and asked: “You’re a Republican aren’t you?

How did you know?!

The woman works on another most important television show. She’s a behind the scenes person like me. The sad part of it was she was so concerned at being found out that she swore me to secrecy. Wow.

She all but said it would absolutely ruin her career if the folks on her show found out. We traded stories, and the single most common thread that was shared was the arrogance of the left. However, my conversation with her confirmed the frightened timidness of the right.

I’m obviously not as timid, and guess I’d rather eat lunch alone than have to choke on my food when all the Republican bashing starts. So liberals, If you see a lonely guy sitting in the commissary eating a tuna tandwich with avocado (tip: Universal makes the best tuna sandwich), come over and say hello and you just might broaden your open-minded horizons. I am not a Nazi, a racist or a war monger. I am a father, a husband and a proud American who wants to support and protect his family . I am a man who believes in true equality for all, …yes, even for us Republicans.

Dolly back…fade out

End Title:

Remember, tolerance runs both ways.

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