Ernie Mannix

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New Novel Depicts Hollywood as the Real Sin City

New Novel Depicts Hollywood as the Real Sin City

What would you do if one day you were chosen to help clean up a dirty town, a town infamous for destroying souls and robbing countless young dreamers of their better years? I’m talking about Hollywood, California and this is

Support for Polanski Explained: The 'Cinematic Immunity' Clause

SECTION 23. PART A: THE CINEMATIC IMMUNITY CLAUSE This contract’s previously mentioned HOLLYWOOD STAR, having surpassed all normal standards of importance, (and now seeking revenge for being a high school nerd); shall not be held responsible for any and all

The Ghost Of Ronald Reagan

“Let’s take a break fellas, I am sick of being in damage control mode. I gotta kick it for a few minutes” President Obama complained . “Okay everyone, let’s leave the President alone for a bit of a rest” announces

Barack Obama: The Movie

“We’re here today, Mr. President, about the project that is due our studio, …on your contract,” the man with rectangular blue Goutier glasses crisply announces to the gathered party of the President and his people. He adds, “I assume Mr.

Bill Calls Hillary

(Ringggggggggggggg.) Todd, the assistant to the assistant of Ms. Clinton: Mrs. Clinton? Mr. Clinton is on the phone for you. Hillary: That’s MS. Clinton. Give me that phone. Hello…? Bill: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA BWAAA HAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHA!

Your Assignment: Name Obama's Hot Sauce

Dateline: Future, most likely August 2012 Having been quite successful at my previous naming assignment for the Obama administration, I was encouraged to assist with another project for the folks at the White House. After being bored sitting on my

My 4th of July Hero: Helen Thomas

I have been more or less one of the resident class-clowns here at BH. Having been been so appalled at the bizarre news coming out of Washington on a daily basis, I’ve been unable to write anything, that isn’t from

The Ghost of Johnny Carson

David Letterman was just rising – earlier than you might think for a guy who’s show is on late enough for college partiers and “freelancers” to enjoy without fear of feeling tired the next day. You’d think that only if

Inside the Head of Nancy Pelosi

Gourmet cheese… Adolpho the world’s most expensive hair stylist… Lake Como… Van Cleef & Arpels… Tiffany… WATER-BLAH BLAH BLAH…. Armani… Cole-Haan… Private Jets with mahogany paneling… WATER-BOOP-BOOP-BOOP…. Little Doggie sweaters… delicious, though insanely-overpriced-for-being-grown-locally California fruit… Chanel… The Galapagos Islands… AL

Recently Discovered: More Nostradamus Premonitions

My research at the La Brea tar pits has uncovered even more Nostradamus Quatrains that just may, (I repeat in the name of truth and science); may pertain to our current national situation. My humble opinion as to what the

The Ghost of Abraham Lincoln

Gently walking through the hallway, the angular man traded his curiosity about his peculiar situation, (that of being back in his old home), for purpose. The purpose was containment of a problem. The problem was that of a young president

White House Interoffice Memo:

FROM: POTUS TO: All White House Staff, Ms. O.W., Rev. W., Mr. W.A. CC: MSNBC, NBC, CNBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, NPR, COMEDY CENTRAL. RULE #1: Beginning this Friday, we are eliminating all references to, either verbally or physically; the notion

Terrorism = Man Made Disaster? Let's try some others:

(Let’s all dig the new lingo.) Murderer = Overpopulation assistant Criminal = Alternative life economist Child abandonment = Remote Parenting Car-jacking = Automotive redistribution Abortion = Choice Appeasement of dangerous enemies = New dialogue Socialism = 2nd stimulus Enemy Combatants

Inside the Head of Keith Olbermann


New Nostradamus Predictions Found

Recently geocached and unearthed in a shoebox at Vasquez Rocks; these newly found quatrains of the great Nostradamus are presented here for the very first time: (I sure as hell believe it.) Quatrain IIVX The woman of the dome of

Things President Obama Does Instead Of Watching Stock Market:

1. Hides from Harry Reid in the White House’s old bowling alley. 2. Check his Blackberry’s GPS for Hillary’s location. 2a. Chooses the furthest country from Hillary’s present location and tells her to go there next. 3. Tells knee-slapping Biden

Inside the Head of Hillary Clinton

(THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE from thousands of people on the Washington Mall.) Announcer: “And now, ladies and gentlemen, the poet laureate; Maya Angelou.” (Applause from the masses and inauguration VIPs.) Maya Angelou: “The men on Mt. Rushmore will chatter, as they hear

The Anti-Churchill: Obama Talks, The Market Drops.

Dow plummets again. All through the campaign Barack Obama told us not to listen to the “politics of fear.” These are the ways of the old guard, the naysayers, the negative ones – he said. Those who won’t sit and

Obama's State of the Union: The Foreclosures-burg Address

Four to seven years ago, our fathers scored and brought forth on this continent, some new homes, conceived in stucco, and dedicated to the proposition that all men can get second mortgages. Now we are engaged in a great economic