The Writer’s Guild (WGA) is back to doing what it does best, sending unemployed members out to threaten with picket signs before they go back home to create more TV shows about dark, gritty, dramas featuring liberal gay heroes fighting mom and dad’s racist, Bush-like values.
Sheldon Bergstein demands the guild get fair treatment, “This just isn’t fair. Everyone in this country wants to watch American Idol and nobody wants to watch what we write. When did America get so stupid?”
WGA chief negotiator Tad E. Leet said, “When people watch shows that generate advertising revenue, we have to stop these shows. It’s terrible for my self image, our collective IQ and the audience really needs to hear what I learned at Columbia before dropping out of my masters program.”
“Their grips don’t have access to equipment…” Claire Hussain Mendocino holds back tears, “…equipment made of organically grown hemp hand-woven by fair trade socialists.”
American Idol was unavailable for comment but insiders understand the production will work to lower ratings by having less Simon Cowell in the show and maybe allow a few WGA members write in a GLBT contestant that is a cutter.