John Bolton. Joe Biden. Lev Parnas. Rudy Giuliani. The Ukrainians. President Trump. Vladimir Putin. Adam Schiff. The Whistleblower.
I say call them all.
Every single one of them should be called, sworn in and forced under the threat of jail time to testify in the Senate impeachment trial.
House Democrats called 17 fake witnesses in their hotly partisan and delusional sham investigation. In a nod to justice, honesty and fairness, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has an obligation now to show House Democrats how a trial is done properly.
House Democrats called their bogus witnesses and refused to allow any Republicans witnesses — witnesses who threatened to poke holes in Democrats’ tissue-thin conspiracy illusion. Now it is time to hear from all the witnesses, starting with former Vice President Joseph R. Biden.
Literally, the only reason for Mr. McConnell NOT to call witnesses in the Senate trial is that the thoroughly dishonest and disingenuous House impeachment managers have demanded them.
Of course, the managers have no real interest in the truth. Just as in the despicable character assassination of Supreme Court Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh, Democrats want more people to testify only in hopes of further smearing Mr. Trump.
They have made a mockery of justice and brought shame on Congress.
Unfortunately for those of us who are dying to see Mr. Schiff, the House intelligence committee chairman, cross-examined over his underhanded and dishonest dealings with the so-called White House whistleblower, Mr. McConnell is aware of just how bad this whole ridiculous circus makes Congress look.
Someone who clearly does not care about congressional dignity and decorum is Senate Minority Leader Charles E. Schumer, who invited Mr. Parnas to watch the impeachment proceedings from a seat in the Senate gallery.
Mr. Parnas has become a major — yet thoroughly reprehensible — figure in the Democrats’ Ukraine impeachment fantasy. He is most notable for his botched hair plugs that make Mr. Biden look like Elvis.
Anyway, Mr. Parnas was ultimately not permitted to watch the proceedings from Mr. Schumer’s seats in the peanut gallery because his court-ordered, ankle-monitoring bracelet was a violation of Senate rules against electronic communication devices inside the chamber.
After all, Mr. Schumer, what is a circus without the traveling freak show?
But since Democrats argue that Mr. Parnas has vital information proving that President Trump should be removed from office, Mr. McConnell should get court approval to give Mr. Parnas leave of his ankle candy so that he can come inside the Senate chamber and testify to all he knows.
Then have Joe Biden, Hunter Biden and everybody else with any relevant knowledge come in and testify.
John Bolton? Yes. Mick Mulvaney? Definitely. Rudy Giuliani? Of course.
In order to believe this whole Democratic fairy tale, one must understand that Mr. Giuliani is Mr. Trump’s political hit man, bagman — and maybe even his getaway driver. So, let’s call him to testify. I want to hear everything he has to say. And he should bring all his files and all the evidence he has gathered over the past several years as Mr. Trump’s personal attorney.
While we are at it, we should also call former Presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush to testify about all the times the Government Accountability Office accused them of breaking the law by funneling money around against the expressed wishes of Congress.
Best of all, Mr. Trump himself should be called to testify, as it is certainly his right to defend himself in person. This could go on and on and on — well past Super Tuesday — and the truth would be revealed in all its shining glory.
The Bidens might end up in jail, Bernard Sanders would become the Democratic presidential nominee and Congress would never recover. But the scorched earth truth would be revealed.
Unfortunately for those of us who want the full, glaring truth revealed at any cost, Mr. McConnell loves the Senate even more than he loves beating Democrats.
Luckily for Mr. Schumer and his angry band of clowns, Mr. McConnell is likely to save them from themselves.
⦁ Charles Hurt can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and on Twitter on @charleshurt.