Star Wars Spoiler Jihadists Being Fought Across the Internet

David McNew/Getty Images
David McNew/Getty Images

The Philadelphia Police Department takes Star Wars pretty seriously. How seriously? They think that spoiling the latest movie should be illegal.

In a post to Twitter, @PhillyPolice admitted that spoiling the new adventures of forces in a galaxy far, far away was not a crime. That, however, does not mean they approve.

Nor does Reddit. After threats from a very salty group called “Members of the Alliance to Preserve the Expanded Universe” to spoil every possible detail of the movies for fans unless Disney agreed to film stories from works of retconned Star Wars fiction, moderators have been proactively banning any user that is discovered to have posted about the contents of the blockbuster film. They’re calling it a “spoiler jihad” to keep from overstating the danger.

The Toronto Star has even shut down the entirety of its comments section in response to the looming threat represented by people who’ve already seen The Force Awakens. They’ve “turned off commenting on effective Wednesday” and will instead “be promoting and showcasing the comments our readers share across social media and in their letters and emails to our editors.”

With a day one total exceeding $130 million in international box office sales, it won’t be very much longer until the battle between the Dark Side of the Internet and its noble defenders comes to an end. SPOILER: The movie is pretty great whether you know what happens or not.

Follow Nate Church @Get2Church on Twitter for the latest news in gaming and technology, and snarky opinions on both.