Nolte: CNN Desperately Seeking Comedian to Replace Chris Cuomo

NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 11: Chris Cuomo attends Annual Charity Day hosted by Cantor Fitzgerald, BGC and GFI at BGC Partners, INC on September 11, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Donald Bowers/Getty Images for Cantor Fitzgerald)
Donald Bowers/Getty

CNN is in such desperate shape the far-left outlet is looking to truly embrace its fake news moniker by hiring a comedian to fill its prime 9 p.m. to 11 p.m. hours.

Chris Cuomo, who once hosted the 9 p.m. hour, was fired for a litany of offenses more than a year ago, and CNN is in such bad shape the slot still doesn’t have a permanent replacement. But this is what happens when your bullpen is full of unappealing liars like Jim Acosta, Don Lemon, and Jake Tapper.

So now CNNLOL is seriously considering hiring a comedian to anchor those two hours. “They’re looking for their version of John Oliver,” one insider told something called Semafor:

The “news entertainment” personality could fill the primetime 9 to 11 p.m. hours with a nontraditional version of the news, five people familiar with the planning said. CNN executives have floated names including Bill Maher, Trevor Noah, Arsenio Hall, and Jon Stewart, and have looked at other comedic news-focused talk shows for inspiration.

CNN president Chris Licht hinted at his desire to sign Stewart in an interview last year with the New York Times, saying he’d love to bring on the former late night host, but Stewart remains under contract with Apple.

You think this is about ratings?

It’s not.

Why would CNN be looking for its own John Oliver when John Oliver attracts far fewer viewers than CNN?

Bill Maher’s ratings are not much better.

Trevor Noah and Jon Stewart’s numbers were/are so low; I doubt they’ve been able to attract their extended families.

Apparently, because he is already in the same corporate family, Bill Maher is the favorite. Really? The same vaccine skeptic, anti-woke Bill Maher, currently giving leftists fits, is the frontrunner?

And is CNN really such a good idea for Maher?

One of the reasons Maher’s brand is elevated above the others is that he does a weekly show. This gives him and his writers time to put together something polished and professional, something that is funny and thoughtful now and again.

Like the rest of America, I don’t care what CNN does with its irrelevant self. What I love about this story is how humiliating it must be for the entire CNN staff —all of whom deserve the humiliation.

The most coveted hour in cable news is 9 p.m., and CNN chief Chris Licht looked over the people he has available and thought, Nope, nope. Better to put a comedian in there than one of these losers.

Which is probably true.

But will it be a house-trained comedian like Jon Stewart, who is bombing over at Apple like no one’s ever bombed in the history of bombing? Will it be a house-trained comedian like Trevor Noah, who lost most of Jon Stewart’s viewers? Or will Maher sell out his brand and become house-trained for CNN? Because you know if anyone at CNN dares color outside the fascist, far-left lines CNN so mercilessly defends, they will be pilloried, shamed, and corrected at CNN for the 22 hours they are not on the air.

Exit Question: If CNN is looking for laughs, why fire Brian Stelter or Chris Cuomo?

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.



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