'Absorb': Obama Has a Dukakis Moment by Greg Gutfeld 22 Sep 2010 post a comment Share This: So here's something a little weird. According to a new book by famed reporter Bob Woodward, called "Obama's Wars," when warned by advisers of another terror attack threat on U.S. soil, our President said that our country could "absorb" it. This is what he allegedly said, two months ago, in an interview with the author... "We can absorb a terrorist attack. We'll do everything we can to prevent it, but even a 9/11, even the biggest attack ever . . . we absorbed it and we are stronger." Look - I don't want to make a big deal out of this. Instead, I will make a medium-sized deal out of this. Frankly, I have concerns about a President who sees our country as a sheet of Bounty that could sop up mass casualties like a spilled Sloppy Joe on the Formica counter. That attack one talks about absorbing could result in thousands of dead folks. Which is why it's just creepy using the word, "absorb." Now, I'm thinking Obama meant it as a compliment - that we're a strong country that can weather anything - and I agree. BUT, "absorb?" You can't say that crap. It's cold, it's clinical - it makes Mr. Spock sound like Stuart Smiley. It reminds me of Michael Dukakis, way back in the presidential debates of 1988 - when Bernard Shaw of CNN asked him if his wife were raped and murdered, would he favor an irrevocable death penalty for the killer?" No one remembers anything else from that debate, because Dukakis said "no" in a manner only a passionless robot could master. For me, the word "absorb" feels like that. But I guess in the air-conditioned intellect that is Obama, words like "absorb" seem perfectly reasonable. So, as a response I am boycotting Bounty and I suggest you do the same. And if you disagree with me, you're a racist, homophobic dinophobe. Tonight: the awesome Amy Schumer! the delightful Imogen lloyd Webber! the charming Steven Crowder!