You ever endorse something you find stupid, because it's for a good cause?
That's how I feel about "Of Thee I Sing," our President's latest children's book.
Yeah, I said, "our President's latest children's book."
I never thought I'd say that.
Frankly, I don't think a sitting President should write children's books.
At least, intentionally.
Now before I make fun, let me point out that all the book's proceeds go to the children of killed or disabled soldiers, which means my whining should be ignored. I realize I'm just making hay, and that hay means nothing when it comes to providing comfort to people who need it.
Now that I got that out of the way - here's my take on the book, which celebrates "groundbreaking" Americans.
It bugs me.
It's part of a redefinition of our commander in chief, with less emphasis on "command," and more on cute. Fact is, being Mr. Nice Guy ain't paying off. Did you see Obama at the G20? They treated him like a poor sap picking up his desk doodads after the layoffs.
Children's books don't instill fear.
Teddy Roosevelt never said, "Speak softly and carry 'Cat in the Hat.'"
My point is, if my President wants to write children's books - then make them scary. You know, with titles like, "James and the Giant Drone." Or "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Ballistic Missile." "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang You're Dead, You Stupid Terrorist."
Anyway, those are my thoughts.
If I had kids I'd probably buy the book because it's a good cause. I might buy it anyway, and it read it to my pool boy Horatio. Not that he'll understand it. He has no idea where he is right now.
And if you disagree with me, you're racist, homophobic Obamaphobe.
reporter Chris Rozvar
writer Jedidiah Bila
FNC business dude Matt McCall