Since I’m always willing to assist struggling comics, I went back into the archives and pulled this Top Ten list from November 14, 1973. Some of the jokes seem so fresh, they could have been written yesterday:
10. They’ll never impeach me, have you met my Vice President?
9. My Attorney General is prepared to lie like a cheerleader on her wedding night.
8. Well, if they didn’t want a crook for President, they shouldn’t have re-elected me.
7. It’s just because they just can’t stand a Quaker in the White House
6. No time for a subpoena, I’ve got a Three O’Clock tee time.
5. Tell my wife if she doesn’t pipe down, I’m going to fix HER leaks.
4. Why not throw me in jail, that’s where all my campaign contributors are.
3. One more peep out of Woodward, and the IRS is going to be auditing his prostate.
2. It’s getting desperate, George Bush is asking ME to resign.
1. You may need to call a plumber for that, Dick