Our hermetically sealed, inoffensive future

In response to Delta Airlines Apologies For Computer Generated ‘H8GAYS’ Confirmation Code:

This is a really unfortunate coincidence, but seriously, how do you insure that no random combination of letters and numbers could possibly be deemed offensive by someone, somewhere?  It’s hard enough to screen for outright profanity, something I think most random code generators are already doing.  

But when we get to the point where every alphanumeric combination has to be screened for thousands of coded l33t-speak insults – in languages other than English, sooner or later – we’re talking about enormous coding resources dedicated to erasing the possibility that somebody, somewhere, will read too much into everything they see.  Even with the speed of modern computer systems, “offensiveness filters” would eventually grow large enough to gum up the works.  The path of least resistance would be asking everyone to chill out, but I suppose that’s too much to ask in our neurotic modern era.  Perhaps companies will be intimidated into using entirely numeric codes to make the whole problem go away – something that will prove very inconvenient to customers, especially since more digits are required to produce an equivalent number of possible combinations.

Or maybe we could establish a central federal database of potentially offensive random alphanumeric combinations, managed by the people who spent $637 million on an ObamaCare system that doesn’t work, and chose 1-800-F1U-CKYO as the help number.

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