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Lonewolf Diaries: You Dumb Republicans!


Yeah … I said it. Like many of you, I don’t completely subscribe to or submit myself to the doctrine of either political party. It’s proven to have been a great decision, considering how much failure the Republican Party has recently taken part in. Let’s be honest folks, this last election, our clock was cleaned. It made George St Pierre’s legendary dismantling of B.J Penn look like one of Biden’s daily strolls through Home Depot (he’s there “every day” you know). I think the Republican party is broken, and I’m asking you to please… Change my mind.

Even worse, is that so many Republicans refuse to acknowledge their mistakes and address them. For years now Republicans have ignored new media like the plague. “The arts, sitcoms, the inter-what now? Naaah we don’t need those. We’re too noble.” Really… Too noble to stop sucking?

For crying out loud, what will it take for the old GOP to smarten (and loosen) up? We need some good entertainment and quality creative arts coming from the Right. Do you know what single-handedly destroyed Sarah Palin this last election? No, it wasn’t her accent, the fact that she was Alaskan or even the terrible, Katie “God-Awful-Botox” Couric…. It was those cronies at SNL.

People were actually walking around parroting a line hand-fed to them by Tina Fey herself, completely unaware that Mrs Palin said nothing of the sort.

“I can see Russia from my house.” I’ll admit that it’s a funny line… It’s a comedic premise funnier than anything produced from the Republicans these days (Dennis Miller not withstanding), but a highly inaccurate depiction of what Sarah Palin said.

The common misconception among conservatives is that to use humor is to “make light” of something. Listen, you can address something with humor while taking the issue at hand dead seriously (as displayed by the chumps at SNL). “Comedy is a rubber tipped sword, allowing you to make a point without drawing blood…” Truer words were never spoken. Who said them, you ask? I can’t remember… Some broad.

Who else out there would like to see a sketch show with a more balanced approach? I know I would. Heck, who out there would love to see a comedy hour that does nothing but seamlessly move from one liberal-ripping session to the next? I find myself raising my hand as I type this.

Then… we have the Internet. Ah today’s great “Wild West”. The Internet is still new territory just waiting to be tamed. Only this time, it isn’t being pioneered by ruthlessly masculine cowboys with Colt revolvers and spurs, but pimply-faced “Green Day” Liberals with too much time on their hands and an axe to grind. Shame on you Conservatives for relinquishing such fertile ground!

Some conservatives have taken a liking to the “blogosphere.” Great! Nobody, aside from Conservatives themselves (and the obvious trolls) read them. What else have you got?

Conservatives (young and old) need to get out there and make themselves known. Start a Facebook group, post some conservative MySpace bulletins, create some YouTube videos! As long as you don’t perpetuate the negative, crazy conservative mother from “Carrie” stereotype, it’s all good. If we display a market for it, more content will have to be created.

The Liberal online bias has only been made more glaringly apparent throughout this past election. If I have to sign in to Facebook only to have Obama’s smug, little smoker’s face staring back at me ONE more time (with an ad listing his “147 IQ”), I’m going to knock somebody’s teeth out. Hopefully Matt Damon or Sean Penn will be in my general vicinity at said given moment.

The good thing is that we now know what the problems are. What are you going to do to fix them? Feel free to post your ideas/suggestions.

I have a weekly video column syndicated from my YouTube channel. I can’t tell you how eagerly I await the day where I am flooded with video responses from my conservative brethren. The same goes for Facebook, twitter and the rest.

It’s a brave new world… I hope to see you all out there (provided that you stop being so sucky).

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