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Gay Sex, Killing Bush: The Outstanding Bravery of the Wachowski's

So the Wachowski’s are back – those two eccentric siblings behind the Matrix movies – that putrid pablum perfect for Hot Topic teens who mistake piercings for personality.

They’ve got a new flick coming, called “Cobalt Neural 9” – a name chosen, of course, to create mystery, confusion, and submissive adoration among pseudo-intellects who still analyze lyrics from the Wall.

Have you seen the Wachowski’s lately?

Here’s a picture:

22_wachowski_560x375

That’s Arianna in the middle.

Apparently, you can judge of a book by its cover.

Anyway – the gist of the flick: it’s cinema-verité, awesomely gay, predictably anti-American, and all about Bush. George Bush. Or rather, killing George Bush.

According to New York Magazine, the plot involves two radicalized men – an American and Iraqi soldier, who fall in love, have lots of sex, then decide to kill then-president of the United States.

Now, I’m sure the fantasy of killing Bush makes everyone in Hollywood feel “edgy.” How daring! How revolutionary! It’s like carrying around a Noam Chomsky book, without having to read it.

I have no idea who’s in the flick, but you can bet actors will line up to audition. After all, what a great opportunity to attain elite renegade status. A movie about killing a man hated by your celeb friends? That’s better than voicing a Pixar dog. Plus, it’ll get you laid at Coachella.

But really: If these jokers had real guts, they’d make movies about real, present threats in the world. But that would be way too dangerous: for it would cost them something bigger than freedom or money: their hipster cred.

And if you disagree with me, you’re a racist, homphobic, Allodoxaphobe.

Tonight:

The legend, Pat Caddell!

In studio: Carrie Keagan!

And the delightful comedian, Joe DeRosa!

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