Welcome to the Dangerous Faggot Tour! I am Milo Yiannopoulos, the supervillain of the Internet and ….DONALD TRUMP IS PRESIDENT!
This is my first show after the election. What an amazing November! Daddy has been elected, Hillary is hiking in the woods running into strangers for those totally spontaneous and not at all staged photo ops, and Jill Stein is about to be kicked out of the Green Party!
If rumors are to believed, I am one of the prime candidates to be Donald Trump’s secretary of good looks, perfect hair and lovely skin.
It’s a new cabinet-level position I can say, with all due modesty, that I am uniquely qualified for. I’ll keep you posted. I had pressure to bring the tour back in New York or California, you know, the big media cities, or as I like to call them after the election, “Butthurt Containment Zones.”
But I am extremely pleased that the second leg of the tour begins in the Midwest and the Rust Belt, which is true Donald Trump territory.
West Virginia was central to Trump capturing blue-collar Democrat voters, the ordinary men and women the Democrats have turned away from. His picture in a coal miner’s helmet was an amazing moment.
If you can’t recognize how awesome [that] picture is, you probably contributed to Jill Stein’s recount effort.
And you also probably eat Kellogg’s products!
I actually have some right here….They just aren’t very good, are they? I mean, who even eats cereal? Fat people I guess. After a decade of liberal boycotts, tantrums and social media storms, it’s time for conservatives to have some fun. It started with GamerGate, continues with #DumpKelloggs and won’t end any time soon. Congrats, progressives — this one is on you, too.
I know some people have no appetite for boycotts, but you can hardly blame conservatives for wanting to have some fun, can you? Over 150,000 people have already signed the Dump Kelloggs petition at Breitbart.com. I’ve got some other calling out to do, and not just of faggy breakfast cereal manufacturers. Earlier this week, I received a string of messages from student organizers at Iowa State University and Minnesota State University.
They all said very similar things. That their administrators were hitting them with impossible security fee hikes just a few days before the event. This has been done before. It’s the latest slippery tactic of university administrators: they’re too afraid to ban me outright, so they give poor student organizers impossible security fees at the last minute without any time to raise the funds.
Iowa state even had the audacity to get back to us, telling me that “physical altercations” at DePaul and “bomb threats” in Florida meant that security requirements had to be ramped up. That’s perfectly reasonable. Except that both of those things happened months ago — and they happened to me! They waited until now to tell student organizers, when students have no time whatsoever to meet the new requirements.
Still, at least they replied. It’s been two days and we still haven’t heard anything from Minnesota, despite multiple attempts from my team to reach them. Both of these universities are funded by taxpayers, by the way, and are potentially breaking the law by refusing to meet security requirements themselves.
But it’s not, of course, just about the technicalities. It’s about principle. These three colleges, set up to provide a safe space for free speech and free inquiry, have become bastions of conformity and cowardice. Other colleges, like the University of Chicago, have responded to the age of safe spaces with a bold defence of free expression. These three colleges have done the opposite, and they deserve to be publicly shamed — repeatedly — until they change course.
Ritual public humiliation is wholly deserved in this case. So if you have some time on your hands later, why don’t you write a polite letter to Richard Davenport, President of the University of Minnesota, or to Steven Leath, President of the University of Iowa. Explain to them the value of free speech, and why intellectual intolerance will, in the long run, be much more troublesome to them than one dangerous faggot.
Anyway, I’ve done some research, and it turns out that West Virginia University might be the most triggering school in the most triggering state in all of America. I understand locals call this state West “BY GOD” Virginia. Think of how that offends atheists! Think about the Muslims triggered by it not being West “By Muhammed, peace be upon him” Virginia!
Just the nickname of the state pisses off all the right people. Your mascot is the Mountaineers, a wonderfully patriarchal symbol. Mountaineer is one of those jobs that feminists don’t make a peep about. They don’t want equality in mountaineering because the salaries aren’t high enough and there are no soft carpets or central heating at the top of a mountain. Oh, and climbing harnesses make your ass look fat.
And that’s just the start. I hear your mountaineer mascot fires a rifle during football games. It’’s like your college was designed to repel leftists! Of course those sorts of people still believe that white people with rifles commit the vast majority of murders, even in Chicago.
There is one thing I don’t like about this college though. Professor Daniel Brewster. Now, Professor Brewster teaches sociology, which comes in just above gender studies in my rankings of “burger flipping majors” — but not very far above. I hear he’s fond of bullying conservative students, who often find themselves compelled to leave his class mid-lecture. I hear he’s hosting a, and I quote, “multicultural LGBTQ event” at this very second.
What’s more, I heard he informed students this week that if they attended his event — which just so happens — just so happens! — to overlap directly with mine – they would get extra credit! In other words, students who opt for my event over his will get a lower grade. Students told me he specifically did this to deter people from my event, and when we emailed him for his side of the story, he didn’t deny it.
Professor Fatass’s Twitter profile contains this quote: “I welcome the fact that students feel safer knowing that I will be an advocate for them and that I am willing to fight for their rights and their inclusion.” Well that’s not true, is it Professor Stuff-Your-Face-With-Froot-Loops? In fact, the opposite is true. If student testimony is correct, he actively works to exclude students – conservative and libertarian students – from his class, and clearly has no respect for the right to consider and discuss different, dangerous points of view.
He is the personification of the cancer eating away at universities: preaching tolerance in public and practicing censorship in private. But Mr. Brewster aside, I’m impressed with West Virginia. If I do eventually found a department of men’s studies, this might just be the place to do it. In the meantime, let’s get down to business.
Less than a month ago, America changed its course. It turns out that not only did the hundreds of thousands of millennials who support Daddy want to make America great again, but so do millions of others, including many lifelong Democrats. Especially since this is my first talk since the election, it has to be a celebration, of course we will keep it low-key and tasteful, like everything I do!
But no good victory party can happen without a bit of gloating. Before we get into the serious stuff, we have to see some examples of what we’ve just defeated, to remind the leftists and the establishment cucks that, well … SORRY GUYS, YOU LOST! I’m going to play a few short clips in order to savor our victory. Of course we must start with the divine Ann Coulter, who called the election of Trump very early… but even better than her words was the delicious reaction they received from leftists.
How about Obama, who just can’t stop being disastrously wrong. With some of his friends, too, who had the same views. And if the predictions of Trump losing aren’t fun enough, what about the reactions. The celebrities are great. My personal favourite was Miley Cyrus crying. I have just three words for these awful babies. I’m glad he’s dead!
If you recall, we have a huge list of celebrities who had announced they’d leave the country if Trump won. It probably seemed like a safe play for attention at the time, but now they’ve got egg on their faces, because, of course, none of them are actually leaving. Some of them have gone silent, while others like Amy Schumer say it was a joke.
Well congratulations Amy, on the first joke you wrote yourself without stealing from real comedians! Even if they had left, Hollywood leftists have been exposed as racists. They only wanted to go to Canada, Australia, and other overwhelmingly white countries. None of them would even come to my native United Kingdom. I guess it’s just too diverse for them, what with all the terrorist attacks and Islamisation.
We know Hollywood loves communists, but they wouldn’t even go to Venezuela. I did publish a plan this week to help them out. My simple proposal, the MILO Plan, is to relocate Hollywood celebrities, journalists, and anyone else too scared to live in Trump’s America… to Cuba. They can culturally appropriate the food, and maybe even the poverty and misery of living under a brutal dictator.
Actors love attention, and Cuba will need some camera-hungry attention seekers to give their attention to now that Fidel has become one one of the only good communists. His brother Raul just doesn’t have the same charisma you know? All of the poverty, none of the machismo. What do you think? Should we send Lena Dunham, Cher, and Jon Stewart down to Cuba? They’d probably all convert to Islam in the hopes of sneaking into Gitmo. The meals are better, I hear. No Kellogg’s for one thing.
Regardless of which group you happen to be a part of, Donald Trump and his presidency will have lasting effects on your life. For some, this has already happened. The workers for Carrier in Indiana will keep jobs that were going to Mexico. The same thing with Ford workers in Kentucky. He is saving the economy and he hasn’t even taken office yet!
Others have felt a negative effect, like Matt Harrigan, who lost his job as CEO of a company called PacketSled after threatening to assassinate Trump with a sniper rifle. He claims it was a joke. Maybe he should write for Amy Schumer — it seems they’re both fans of being unfunny, unoriginal and total cunts. The thing about Daddy is, positively or negatively, you’re gonna feel him!
When I wrote about Trump’s election two weeks ago, waves of violent protests were occurring in American cities. Those have largely calmed down. Perhaps someone stopped paying for the rioters, and the buses that brought them to the protests in comfort. These protests will surely return by inauguration time, if not before. I for one don’t mind seeing them. Sunlight doesn’t cure hysteria, but it does show the world who the sane ones are.
I mean, I’m a flamboyant, ridiculous faggot, but It’s still easier to take me seriously than some of my detractors. Every voice on the Left bleated about how they feared protests and riots by angry Donald Trump supporters if and when he lost the election, yet it is the leftists themselves destroying property and blocking roads. Everyone can see where the hate is coming from. Everyone.
It is sort of like how they are claiming the election was rigged right after they said that was impossible. Democrats, the difference between social media and real life is you cannot just delete what you said and pretend it never happened. You’re hypocrites — and these riots and recount demands expose you.
The protesters themselves will have good jobs available if they choose to go straight. Otherwise they will be dealing with men like Sheriff David Clarke and Sheriff Joe Arpiao. Good luck, guys. My money is on the sheriffs. To give you a flavour of how utterly miserable the Left is about all this, we are now in a post-election period in which leftists are faking hate crimes in an effort to paint Trump supporters negatively.
A Muslim woman at the University of Louisiana claimed Trump supporters attacked her. It didn’t happen. A gay man from Canada named Chris Ball says he was also attacked, and posted graphic pictures with a bloody face as proof. It also didn’t happen, according to the police. Do you have any idea how poor your hate crime hoax story has to be for the increasingly partisan Snopes.com to say it’s untrue?
These hoax crimes remind me of Rolling Stone. They set out to report on the rape culture of American campuses, but when they couldn’t find any examples, they just made shit up. As usual, I am ahead of the curve. I wrote a long time ago about the growing epidemic of fake hate crimes that has sprung up over the past 10 years — and opened the last leg of my Dangerous Faggot tour by asking why lesbians commit so many of them.
Hoaxers are only harming their own cause. While many are likely to avoid immediate punishment for making up stories in place of actual hate crimes by Trump supporters — which don’t exist — what the Trump presidency means for these imaginative fools is a wonderfully incriminating social media trail for potential employers.
Media cycles end, but the Internet never forgets. This is a valuable lesson especially for college students. Many of the hoaxers come from campus, and they are ruining their future. The two liberals at Northwestern who defaced the interfaith chapel with spraypaint aren’t likely to find a job unless it is for George Soros, or maybe a pizza restaurant in Washington DC.
The Republican establishment fought against Trump almost until the end of the race… before trying to suck up to him in a maneuver so slippery and Machiavellian I am tempted to coin the word Cruzesque. You know how they talk. “Yes, I spent the entire campaign supporting the Democrats, but if you don’t give us positions in the White House you’re damaging party unity!” The establishment celebrated Daddy’s win not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Establishment Republicans have a clear future: tough primary elections against Trump-like opponent’s intent on draining the swamp. Paul Nehlen was the prototype for this movement. His battle with Paul Ryan was just a little ahead of its time. In the future, incumbent establishment Republicans expecting to be unchallenged in primaries will be in for a nasty surprise: the Trump revolution is just beginning. If they’re an obstacle to daddy’s efforts to make america great again, I predict they will quickly find themselves in a battle for their political lives.
The Trump train isn’t stopping soon: his base is in it for the long haul. And if the establishment think that voters will forget their desperate attempts to stop Trump, they’ve got another think coming. Trump is going to drain the swamp, he’s going to get back control of America’s borders, and if the establishment try and stand in his way, they’ll go the way of the Clintons and the Bushes. Stumped.
If the GOP expects to keep receiving campaign donations, it had better get in line with the Trump train pronto. Millennials don’t have much to contribute, but your parents do, and they are with Trump too. The latest news from the establishment GOP is the consideration of Mitt Romney for Secretary of State. MIttens, if you remember, was the most vicious NeverTrumper of them all.
Wow Mitt, you didn’t leave much wiggle room there did you? Why did you campaign harder againsts Donald Trump than you did Obama in 2012? I will give you my opinion, which I know you all cherish: Mitt Romney should be ambassador to Cuba, so he can hang out with all the people who hate Trump as much as he does.
The big losers of the general election, the Democrats, are busy making their defeat even larger. It’s like they confuse losing elections for the national debt. All of their pathos is aimed at Trump instead of fixing the reasons they lost the election.
For one thing, the entire primary was rigged for crooked, spooky Hillary, who is unhealthy in every way. Among the most severe of her maladies is her disdain for common Americans. She really believed that the support of a few elites in the media and in Hollywood would be enough to bamboozle the country into voting for her. The Democrat Party followed Hillary’s lead in labelling everyone who didn’t agree with them racist, sexist, Islamophobic, and every other identity politic epithet they could think of.
Some of us knew this meant the “basket of deplorables” would grow to include essentially everybody in America, but many were shocked to eventually see themselves lumped in with the worst offenders, as decided by the extremists who run the Democrat party. The era in which you could call someone a racist, sexist, or homophobic and expect them to just shut up… That’s over. That, in fact, is how they lost the election. But they still think that branding their opponents with buzzwords is the way to damage them. It’s pathetic!
Take a look at this. It’s the number of times the New York Times has used the word “racist” in its articles, from its founding to the present day. It’s not sustainable. It’s like a bubble in the financial markets. One day soon, it’ll come crashing down. Of course, the real problem with Democrat identity politics is how obviously untrue all their claims are. The 52 per cent of white women who voted for Donald Trump are not sexists. The 33 per cent of Hispanic males who voted for Trump are not racists.
And, whisper it, even the straight white males who voted for Trump aren’t racists or sexists either — just terrified of the Democrats and their plans for the country. They’re the blue collar workers in states like West Virginia, tired of being lied to by Democrats who pretend they’ll protect their jobs. The Democrats continue to move away from the mainstream and towards the most fanatical left-wing positions. They’ve abandoned the politics of mainstream america and embraced the politics of angry college professors and Huffington Post bloggers. And they wonder why they lost.
I’ve already mentioned the celebrities who planned to flee the country, but a few more thoughts are in order for this group of special snowflakes. The Left panders to people like Lena Dunham — who is electoral kryptonite. The more America sees of people like her, the less likely it is that the Democrats will ever win another election.
Instead of saying, GET OFF OUR TV SCREENS YOU HIDEOUS MAN-HATING DYKE, leftist America worshipped Dunham, thrilled by her “edgy” hatred of white people, with absolutely predictable results. One celebrity must be called out for extra-special attention: Joss Whedon, who I’m pretty sure is actually calling for an overthrow of the government:
Joss is an amazing guy. No matter how often he gets knocked around by leftists, he comes back begging for more. He was chased off Twitter by leftists who were mad that Scarlett Johannsen’s character in The Avengers has a dark backstory in which she was made infertile. This was allegedly sexist, and leftists on Twitter duly called on Joss to kill himself. And yet he still doesn’t seem to understand why so many people voted against the left and their mad identity politics.
So what is the future for anti-Trump celebrities? They will stay famous, and keep making millions. But as they become increasingly frantic in their opposition to Trump, they will wear out their welcome. Mark Wahlberg is right — people follow celebrities for entertainment, not finger-wagging and moralizing about politics.
The media threw everything they had at Donald Trump, and none of it worked. None of it!
Every slimy tactic they’ve developed since the first TV camera was invented and the first newspaper rolled off the printing presses was deployed, and it comprehensively failed. Between Wikileaks’ exposure of collusion between the media and the Clinton campaign, and the shockingly biased coverage of Hillary’s race with Bernie and later with Trump, the media has been disgraced.
You don’t have to take it from me. Just browse the Twitter timeline of Michael Tracey, a leftist and former Vice reporter who refused to back Hillary after she defeated Bernie Sanders, and spent the rest of the election highlighting the media’s failure to fully grasp the Trump phenomenon. Despite being one of the only lefties to get it right, Vice fired him shortly after the election — for being too mean to Lena Dunham!
The media is already shocked to learn that the Trump administration will not coddle them, and access to the Trump White House will not be automatic for journalists who are practically on the DNC payroll. Trump understands the media business better than the media themselves, which is why he ran circles around them throughout the entire campaign.
The dirty little secret the media doesn’t want to admit is that Trump generates such good content that they can’t help covering him even when they hate him. And regardless of what the media says about Trump, he will speak directly to the people both in person, and via social media. Imagine my glee as the media and the tech companies try to brand Breitbart and others as “fake news”. The mainstream media is putting out fake news daily, but we’re the bad guys for telling the truth. Give me a break.
If we’re in a post truth era, it’s the mainstream media who put us there. It wasn’t only the media that was rigged against Trump — even the pollsters tried to do him in. The Pollsters made the same mistake with Brexit. Despite the fact that their buddies in the media were wasting no opportunity to call supporters of British independence racists and bigots, they still assumed that voters would be happy to tell smug metropolitan pollsters everything about their voting intentions.
The same thing happened with Trump. I can’t count the number of people who played along with the anti-trade narrative in public to appease their metropolitan friends and colleagues, only to quietly pull the lever for Trump in the voting booth. Pollsters need to have a few words with their friends in the leftist bubble, because their virtue-signalling and public shaming and buzzwords are effectively destroying their profession.
Nobody is going to be upfront about their political preferences if they’re going to be called racists, sexists, and the rest of the left’s favorite buzzwords. Perhaps when we can have honest disagreements without being compared to Nazis and rapists, the accuracy of polls will improve. Until then, sucks to be you, Nate Silver!
And that … leaves the rest of us… the deplorables! President Trump means an American government that will serve the people, and be rooted in common sense. We’ve already learned that Daddy will restore the bust of Churchill to its rightful place in the Oval Office, fixing an early injustice by Obama.
Trump will take a $1 salary as President, and in his first week as President-elect has Canada and Mexico agreeing to revisit NAFTA and Russia agreeing to not stage a nuclear war. Not bad for a first week on the job. If Donald Trump stays true to his campaign promises, and all evidence points to him doing so, his basket of deplorables has the opportunity to leave a lasting mark on America not only in its governmental institutions like the supreme court, but also culturally.
Conservative students and free-speech activists will no longer suffer recriminations on American campuses if emboldened Trump supporters continue to push beyond the presidency and into culture. What Trump means for us is that we’ve won the first battle. At a minimum, he’s a necessary course correction from the excesses of the social justice left. At most, he’s the saviour of the First and Second Amendments, protector of the Supreme Court and champion of the little guy. In other words: just what America needed.
And the Left can pull out its hair, stomp its feet and throw out bogus allegations of racism, sexism and whatever else as long as it likes. The forces of good have prevailed. My message to the students at West Virginia University and to everyone watching via stream is DO NOT TAKE YOUR FOOT OFF THE GAS. We have drawn first blood in this new culture war, but we have a long fight ahead.
We must continue fighting for free speech and personal responsibility for Donald Trump’s election to be a lasting victory.
Written from prepared remarks.