In case you missed it, August was “National Breastfeeding Month.” I find it incredible that so many celebrity moms banded together to tell women how to raise their babies and no one really took notice. We should be thankful that celebrities are out there willing to tell us that it is okay to breastfeed. If we ignore them, they might stop telling us who to vote for or even worse, how many sheets of toilet paper we should use! Back to reality. Did they think that millions of American women would not perform one of the most natural acts in the herstory of womynkind until the girl from that Doritos commercial says it’s okay to whip ’em out?
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According to this latest PSA from TheBump.com, breastfeeding could save the US government some ridiculous amount of money each year in healthcare costs. First of all, no one can save the government money because the government doesn’t know how to save money. I’m curious: I wonder how much money the government will save if everyone stopped smoking.
Gisele Bundechen, the Brazilian civil rights hero, I mean supermodel, recently pronounced “I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.” And what happens if we don’t Gisele? Do we get thrown in a Nipple Nazi lactation prison?
Sure, breastfeeding is one of the most primitive and natural things a woman can do, similar to giving birth or going to the bathroom. But what happens to women who choose not to or can’t breastfeed? Are they to be considered as less of a mother? Why do celebrities want to make women who can’t or choose not to breastfeed feel like they are incomplete mothers?
These celebrity moms remind me of today’s feminist movement in that they are irrelevant at best. With personal chefs, private trainers, and nannies at their disposal, I guess they have a lot of time to come up with laws to enforce their beliefs. Sure, I know celebrities can’t actually make laws, but do they know that? Their advice means nothing to a woman who is trying to hold down a full-time job, make sure her two kids are doing their homework and needs to prepare three meals a day. Quite honestly, I don’t mind if that woman decides to cut breastfeeding out of the equation to make life a bit easier.
If you don’t conform to the feminist elite’s exact definition of what a mother or woman should be then you are shunned, chided and belittled by them. I always thought that one of the main points of feminism was to give women choices. Susan Sarandon reminds us of how intolerant the feminist movement is when someone has different views. While Sarandon was being honored with the a Lifetime Achievement Award from Boston University, she was asked if she thought Sarah Palin could be considered a feminist:
“I don’t understand how anyone can claim that she’s a feminist. Is it because she’s cute and feisty and spunky? Is it because she carries a gun and shoots animals from a helicopter? That’s not feminism — that’s the worst aspect of violent male behavior. I think she completely compromises the idea of feminism.”
Nothing pisses off the feminist elite more than a woman who exercises her 2nd amendment rights or chooses not to abort a baby with Down Syndrome. Feminists also expect all women to be peaceful. When accepting her Emmy in 2007, Sally Field concluded her speech with: “If mothers ruled the world there would be no god damned wars in the first place.” Does it make me any less of a mother if I agree with Patricia Heaton’s response:
“I’ve actually become a more violent person since I became a mother. If someone came between me and my kids, they’d be dead meat.”
The surefire way to get booted from any feminist clique is to question Roe v Wade. After my friends recover from their initial disgust when they find out that I am now conservative, they always ask if I am still pro-choice. When I suggest that “there should be a window for abortions and then…”, my opinion on anything immediately becomes tainted and I’m not given the opportunity to finish my sentence.
Feminists are also confused by my fantasy of being a 1950s housewife that conjures up meals and keeps a clean home while looking fabulous. Really, I would love that. Most feminists scoff at the boredom of it all. Women are expected to want to work even when it is not a financial necessity. Sure, some of you think we are past this conversation, but we aren’t. How many stay at home moms feel inferior to their working friends? Well, you shouldn’t. Women need to take responsibility for their lot in life. Don’t count on a female co-worker or Gloria Steinem to improve your situation. Especially since Ms. Steinem is too busy defending the likes of Bill Clinton.
It’s up to each woman to personally discover what it means to be a woman and how to survive and thrive in this world. I’m an advocate, so I understand that sometimes a movement is needed to right injustices and atrocities. However, when one of your biggest gripes is that a vitamin company is marketing the promise of strong muscles to boys and good skin to girls then I think it’s time to move on.
Go ahead, ladies, and whip ’em out if you want, just not next to my latte. If the baby’s needs are so important, then why are you in a Starbucks, anyway?
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